This week Ghana celebrated its independence anniversary. It is time to remember the sacrifices of our forefathers who fought to give us freedom from our colonial masters. Today, Ghana is a sovereign nation, free forever to protect its unique national agenda for national development. Fulfilling relationships are like an independent Ghana. We have to go through difficulties to adjust to partner identity. After that, we have to fight off interference from outside to maintain our identity and pursue partnership progress. Outside interference in relationships Some in-laws think they show love and care by dictating how their children's marriages must go. i. The problems are predominantly between the wife and her mother-in-law, especially where the mother is separated, widowed or does not like the choice of a wife. The young wife, feeling insecure, fights back. ii. It is good to have friends but some friends put marriage at risk. They demand attention and favours at the risk of the marriage. Sometimes a harmless activity with a friend of the opposite sex sparks off infidelity. iii. Some partners allow work ethics, attitude and career progression to threaten their relationships. Many have put work ahead of their relationships. Some partners hardly find time for each other. They get home too tired to show love. Job stress is a threat to relationship. How to make relationship independent? i. Ghana, as an independent nation, has boundaries. It is also healthy to set boundaries in our relationships. ii. Respect and be nice to your in-laws. Appreciate what they do and do all you can to help them, but be firm and refuse unwanted interference. The best approach is for both partners to take a united stand. iii. Avoid friendship with the opposite sex. It has many potential dangers, especially with office colleagues. iv. Balance work and relationship. Have time for both. A good balance is achieved when you have time for both without much effort and you are comfortable. v. Keep secrets. Certain things in your relationships should be kept just for the two of you. Never let out what your lover discusses with you in private. vi. Don't accept just any favour or advice from others. No one knows your relationship better than you. People providing all your needs will dictate your relationship and they may not respect you. Don't expect anyone to make you happy. Have your own magic formula. vii. Every nation has its moments of difficulties. Your relationships will also have its moments of pain and failure. Appreciate the fact that every problem in the relationship can be solved. You need commitment, hard work, honesty and patience to protect your relationship. viii. Every nation has a vision. Your relationship must have a vision to mature because a relationship without a vision is bound to fail. You must know where your relationship is getting to. Don't play games and don't be a victim. Make mutual decisions. Pursue activities and programmes that make you unique. ix. Show commitment in your relationship. Every relationship is unique and matures along different paths. Never compare your relationship with others unless they motivate you to work harder and be loveable. Believe that it takes only one person to make the relationship, and it is you. x. Make mutual decisions. Just as Ghana is democratic, seek your partner's views on all important matters. If a woman's views are valued, she feels honoured and commits more to a relationship. Men must be humble to seek the views of their partners, especially where they know their partners have better abilities in specific areas. xi. Celebrate your relationships. Studies show that relationships celebrated often grow in health. Celebrate just the fact that you have each other, just as Ghanaians are celebrating the fact that we have this blessed land called Ghana. See your relationship also as a special gift of God. A drink, a meal or a walk will make a good celebration. xii. Pray to God to bless your relationship to make it great and strong. Never lower your guard but be bold to defend it against anything that threatens it because you were made for relationships and you have one. Fill your hearts with true humility. Cherish your relationship, make it truly yours and independent. Author: John Boakye (e-mail: jydboakye@yahoo.com) Source: The Mirror