The stages of life can be funny. After childhood, it looks like the system is out to get you. 

Maybe films and cartoons should be banned. John, the main character, finds a job, everything seems to work out. There is a balance between his work and personal life. At the end of the 2-hour movie, John finds his happiness again after some challenges. 

Come to think of it, the time and place in which John, the character lived could have ensured he had what he dreamt about. 

During my final days at the university, I told an acquaintance "you must be happy working oo. Would you get to be working. You get to earn money. I would work every day papa." 

Kombat, take your stone. You told me but did I listen? No! You said it isn't easy. You were subtle when you tried to speak sense to me. 

Blame me? I had this idea of an ideal world. Work gives you money. Money is good, so, whatever is ensuring that money keeps coming is good. Money allows you to be happy. It sustains happiness because you are able to operate in a world where money talks. 

To the substantive matter, work. Work is not enjoyed, one of my Economics tutor at the University of Ghana once said. I agreed with his assertion but I did not understand it because I was not involved yet. 

Two years and counting, and I can't exactly tell the number of times I believed I was depressed. It felt like I was living the symptoms; sleeplessness, lack of concentration and sadness. 

I don't think suicidal thoughts came into the picture. 

I never affirmed that it was depression because it could be the challenges one has to face when he or she gets into a new space, I told myself. Also, I didn't see a health professional. 

Do I hate my job, no? Did I love it, do I love it and would I keep loving it? Yes. But is it so killing that my love dwindles at some point? Yes. 

In an industry where you serve the entire citizenry with information of day-to-day activities, there is no leisure. Breaking news could happen anytime, literally. 

It is much worse when you operate digitally. The world is a global village. Well done world for being a global village. 

Holidays no longer serve their purpose because it is still a working day for journalists. What about weekends? For some, those with Television and Radio production, it could really be the week-ends. But for the digital journalist, who born you?

I don't hate my profession, I reiterate. Even in a perfect relationship, there are challenges.

But I keep pondering whether I made the right decision because I now ration my weekends, holidays, church service among others.

Doing this for two years and hopefully not counting, I'm surprised suicidal thoughts never emerged. Wait, could it have but I never noticed? A therapist or psychologist should be able to help, that is if I get the time.

You must be thinking, "you wanted the money so you went for it" or "if you don't want it, you can stop".

These are valid statements but as I said, the system.

We all think about money. Unfortunately,  money sometimes overshadows the wellbeing of one. Besides, you have not started the process so how would you know if you can handle it or not.

Why not stop? Stop and do what? Moving or quiting is an alternative but not feasible in our current dispensation. Aside from "who do you know", the process can be tiring.

The current unemployment situation in the country does not motivate one to easily give up a secured position that gives migraine about two or three times a week. Unless, it could literally cost you your life.

What do I want now? I want an off day. If envy is a good thing, I envy professions that have off days.

Working 12 days straight and having the weekend as your off days doesn't sound right. It is a weekend, that is what it is supposed to do.

Need time to wash, clean the house, engage in extra curricular activities that ensure full happiness and most importantly, rest. 

Maybe it is high time a suggestion was made. Wish me luck.

On a more serious note, being an adult is not easy. I appreciate all who wake up as early as 4am and get home 9pm or worse 11 or 12 due to factors such as distance or the nature of one's work. 

I can't really say hold on or let go. It is not so easy. Whatever decision you take, make sure you want it and would live by the consequences. Simply choose among the two; I love you or I love you not. 

For me, I'm still weighing my options. It is not all sad. I get to laugh at a point.

As my mentor, Uncle Eric says, it is time to go. Let God lead and remember, you only have one life.

Tata - that is goodbye in the English Language.