Friday’s Super Morning Show on Joy FM, featured a discussion about relationship issues with renowned counselor James Ebo Whyte and Irene Larwia Zakpaa, CEO of Emerald Productions preferring some solutions. One of the main questions from callers was how relationship problems like abuse and a lack of respect should affect the decision to get married. Both guests agreed that while each relationship is unique, abuse is never acceptable and can generally justify a break up. Along these lines, one listener asked what to do about her boyfriend who she loves deeply but who occasionally beats her and threatens her life. Whyte responded categorically that it was foolish of any woman in her position to continue dating such a boyfriend. He told women that their husbands or boyfriends should be their partners, not their masters. Zakpaa went further, saying that for a marriage to succeed, spouses absolutely must be friends. Mr. Whyte cautioned listeners not to rush into marriage. For one thing, he said, it is easier to get out of a pre-marital relationship than a marriage. Jointly owned property, children, and other factors can complicate the decision to get divorced, but these issues come up less often between boyfriends and girlfriends. He suggested that couples not marry until they have had a fight, because people learn a lot about their partners after bearing the brunt of their anger. Zakpaa added that dialogue is crucial to any healthy relationship; the more that one or both partners are unwilling to compromise or acknowledge the other person’s perspective, the less likely that relationship is to last. In the event of a divorce, she advised couples to handle the process civilly so that issues like children do not become sources of conflict. Ebo Whyte also warned listeners not to expect that they can change their partner’s personality over time by getting married. For people struggling in their relationships, it is best to visit a counselor who can address their problems. If this fails, abandon the relationship, because marriage is like a “pressure cooker,” and any problems that exist in a relationship will only intensify once the couple gets married. Breaking up is not necessarily a bad thing, according to Whyte, who says that too many people fear single life. They stay in unhealthy relationships because they do not realize that being single can be better than living with the stress of a bad relationship. Both guests agreed on the importance of maintaining connections with friends and other interests throughout a relationship. A successful relationship is the coming together of two individuals, White said, and if the partners cease to be individuals, the relationship will probably fail. Looking at the issue from another angle, Zakpaa noted that people who sacrifice their personal lives for relationships have nothing to fall back on after a break up.