A woman's greatest emotional need is in the security and the quality of her relationship. A woman is prepared to commit everything about her life in a relationship to make it work. Sadly, many Ghanaian men don't want to know. They keep many women in frustration, suspension, anguish, despair and loneliness. What are Ghanaian men afraid of? Initiating a relationship A Ghanaian man sees a lady he loves. He finds the woman just right for him but he is at a loss to start a relationship. Some are crude in their approach. Some immediately attempt to bribe the woman with money and benefits for sex. Many lack self-esteem and look for others to win women for them. Some wait too long and lose potential life partners. Decision to marry: There are many Ghanaian men in very good relationships where the women bend over to make the relationship exciting. Everything works fine and the chemistry is right. They may be of age and in good professions. However, whenever the question of marriage comes up the men go cold. They have lots of excuses. Wedding This is the biggest fear of the Ghanaian man. The principle of church marriage is that a man leaves his family to live with his wife to become one flesh. Partners give each other top priority in all they do. Their relationship is inseparable till death. Many Ghanaian men find these too hot to handle. They see wedding as a dangerous option and total surrender of their freedom and would do all to avoid it. Why the fear? Men are born competitors and providers. Our greatest emotional needs are what we can achieve. We are, however, prone to failure. Men, therefore, avoid long-term relationships because of the high risk of failure. We always want to defend our ego. If we stay out and do not commit ourselves then we can't fail and will, therefore, protect our ego. This may explain why many Ghanaian men opt for cohabitation. This enables them to leave relationships that have risk of failure. Men are actually the weaker sex. • Ghanaian men love to be in relationship but intimacy scares them. We sit on the fence so that we can be independent and jump to wherever we want in the event of conflicts. We want all the best of the benefits of marriage without commitment to women. We can have many women. We want to have our cake and eat it. What to do • Develop a positive mental attitude about yourself and relationships. Remember, women love men who are self-confident. They also love words. Men must be romantic when initiating relationships and mean what they say. A woman will love you for your security and commitment more than money, big titles and benefits. • Appreciate there is no point delaying marriage unduly if you are sure you love your woman. Marrying early helps you to interact better and grow with your children. You will never find a perfect partner and nobody can ever be fully prepared to marry. You can, however, find true love. Success may not come because you delayed. • A covenant relationship is an honour to couples and God who calls us into marriage for His greatest gift to humanity. Go for it. True love casts out fear and makes all mountains disappear because God has not given us the spirit of fear but boldness to honour Him. Fear is the greatest obstacle to commitment. Fear will take away your motivation to enjoy the beauty of true love. Feel the fear but push it away. Life is full of adventure or it is nothing. Don't hide in your comfort zone and cheat yourself of the amazing benefit of relationships. If you share true love, you will not be afraid to love completely with trust, honesty and fairness. Let go fear to commitment. It is the only way to greater excitement, adventure, pleasure and blessing. There are enough verses to remind us each day not to fear. Nothing in life compares with a committed relationship. You deserve just that. Source: John Boakye/The Mirror Email: jydboakye@yahoo.com