Rare is the man who demands acrobatic porno stunts and a closet filled with ball gags and leather whips. Sure, those men exist, and if that’s your cup of kink, go for it. But the truth is, most guys are a little more predictable in their bedroom proclivities. We just want a sex life that’s a little spicy, a little sweet, and still occasionally surprising. Easy enough, right? Sure it is! To make the bedroom a sexual sanctuary, here are the things dudes desire most.

1. To see you take initiative
We’re happy to make the first move, and if you don’t, we will. But it’s so much more rewarding when we know how eager you are. Because no matter how much you seem to enjoy the heat, if you never light the match, we have to wonder if you don’t secretly prefer the cold.

2. Sexy lingerie
We know you mostly wear it to turn us on, and we really, really appreciate it—even if we seem to barely notice as we rip it off and toss it on the floor.

3. Foreplay
Don’t be fooled by guys you see in movies who are always horny and ready to screw like RIGHT NOW. Truth is, we love the slow build as much as we love the crescendo. And good sex provides both.

4. Spontaneity
It’s impossible for a couple not to fall into some kind of rut, even if it’s a shallow one. So don’t ever be afraid to change things up. Pre-work sex, sex without penetration, and sex on the living room coffee table all do the trick. Just be sure to wipe it down before you put the magazines back.

5. Dirty talk
Or at the very least, some encouraging moans to let us know when we’re on the right track.

6. To hear his name
Nothing keeps us in the moment like the sound of our own name. Use that to your advantage.

7. Safety
Unless we’re in a long-term relationship, you’re taking the Pill, and we’ve both been tested for STDs, then condoms are still part of the equation. Odds are, we have one with us. But what if we run out? Or we forget it? If you can whip out a rubber like sexual Houdini, that’s hot. Even better is if you occasionally pull it out before we have a chance to. It shows us that you’re committed to our sex life, and that you’re willing to take joint responsibility for our safety.

8. A game-for-anything attitude
If we want to play out a fantasy or try a new position, we hope you’ll at least be open to trying. And we promise—we’ll do the same for you.

9. A sense of humor
When things go wrong, it can either be hilarious, or devastating. Our ability to laugh together makes the difference.

10. To make you orgasm
It’s not all about us, and we know it. So, please—tell us what you want. We aim to please.