Walking at the corridor in the evening after a Sunday service has almost become like a weekly ritual for me. And this Sunday was not so different. I wore my blue hot pants with my yellow sleeveless top and my younger brother’s sneakers. I added my summer hat and picked my sun glasses. I had an agenda. Yes, you’re right to think so. I usually like to just walk about there whilst making phone calls.

But today, I planned to visit a friend who had returned from the USA. But before I could finish thinking of which route to use in order to get there early, I had a call on the land line. Alas! It was Pokuaa.

She had a big story to tell me. It’s her mum again. Her fifty five year old mother, auntie Mansa is displeased Pokuaa serves her meals in rusted bowls and not so well kempt cups. But that’s what my friend has known all her life since she lived with her mum. Pokuaa is happily married now with a one year old girl. Her mother visited her and she made her sleep in the boys quarters and served her meals in the bowls not even used for strangers sometimes.

Then I asked her why in a world she would do that to her own mum. And her answer shocked me. “She taught me to do that”. I told her, “mother, you taught me how to do this” and she nearly pelted stones at me.

“When I was a child, my mum’s mother-in-law used to visit us a lot. Oh, I liked grandmother Afi. She was very sweet. But my mum just hated her. She said she didn’t like her frequenting our home. And that she could actually destroy the marriage between her and my dad. And may his gentle soul rest in perfect peace!

So, in order to stop her from visiting, she would use rusted bowls and dirty cups to serve her. The situation became worse when my dad passed. She blamed granny Afi. When I asked her, she said I was a kid and that I would understand when I grow up”

“But, Pokuaa, the fact that she did that does not mean that it’s the best way to treat people”. I said

But she stopped me in my tracks and said she had started having challenges in her relationship and she was suspicious of her mum. And since her problems started when her mum decided to be visiting a lot, she felt she needed to do that.

But the question again was whether that even yielded any results for her. “ Think about it. Did anything change for the better for your mum when she treated granny that way? I doubt it did. Does any human being deserve such treatment even if they were the wicked on earth?

She shivered and I could hear it from her voice through the telephone.

“Treat her well. Love her. Love everyone. I want a 180 degrees turn around in your attitude towards your mum. Pray for her. Pray for your relationship and see things work out for you. I want to hear from you in a week’s time. And remember I care”. I told her.

Then she told me her network said “ You have just a minute left in your account” so she had to hang up.

But as she did, there were lots of questions flooding my mind. What are some parents teaching their children? You may never know when that thing you taught your child consciously or unconsciously could be used against you.

No one is responsible for your problems. Even if they were, there’s always that grace that helps us to get out of the nets people use to entrap us. Paying evil with evil would not bring good.

Treat all with love. You may never know when you may need that love back. And remember to teach that child human values. Have a good day! Cheers

 

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