Effective communication is the key to a successful marriage. If one partner feels unable to communicate with the other half of the marriage partnership, then perhaps the union will be rocky. A family that has effective communication is one that will have the wherewithal to weather the storms that come into any marriage. Here are some tips on effective communication, which leads to an effective marriage and functional family. Listening and Calmness Listen to your spouse. To listen is to give your undivided attention to the speaker. Many people erroneously think that they can continue with a task while listening and still hear what was said. This is a fallacy that often leads to misunderstandings. Stopping what you're doing helps you to listen. "Stop, look and listen" is what is said to children in elementary school. Adults in a marriage would also do well to stop what they are doing and listen. Remain calm both when speaking and when listening. Shouting and ranting, no matter how much one spouse feels wronged, only leads the partner to do the same, which results in no problems being resolved. Speak with a calm, unthreatening voice, and your spouse will be encouraged to do the same. Tolerance and Reciprocation Communication is more than just hearing what a person says and responding to that. It can also be a touch, a sound or an expression. Learn to recognize your spouse's nuances and be sensitive to each other's feelings. Sometimes there are circumstances in a marriage that are necessary and can't be helped. One partner may feel put out and feel slighted because of this. The key here is to practice tolerance of the situation. Understand that the circumstance will not last forever and that it may be a necessary evil in your lives. Ensure there are continued updates and communication in such a situation, and don't allow ill feelings to fester. Respect and Distraction Be respectful of each other's wishes. If a spouse suggests something that is not practical in a situation, don't fly off the handle by calling him dumb or stupid. Always show respect and explain why the suggestion may not work effectively. Mutual respect is a key to an effective partnership. Akin to stopping what you're doing, getting rid of distractions is also a good idea. In homes with multiple children, it can be difficult to have a conversation with your spouse. Respectfully ask your children to leave the room while mom and dad speak so that you can be free from distractions. Source: livestrong.com