
Audio By Carbonatix
1. He can always grab that vase for you. I mean, I don't know why I'm keeping that vase that high anyway, but he still grabs it for me every single time.
2. He makes you feel like a dainty little Tinkerbell. And he, he is a gentle giant. Even if I don't fit into his jeans, I still feel like I could probably fit into his pocket.
3. You can wear 5-inch heels and still be shorter than him. Not that you can't be taller than your boyfriend, but sometimes it's nice to be able to wear your stilettos without feeling like a dominatrix leading your sub around the party on a leash. "Oh, him? This is Number 2. Bark like a dog, Number 2. Good boy."
5. He's the designated lightbulb changer. Thomas Edison designed lightbulbs to hang from the ceiling because he was a selfish Very Tall Man and he didn't want anyone but Very Tall Men to reach them. He told me.
6. You can stand directly in front of him at a concert without blocking his view. Is there any way to take in a John Legend concert other than standing-spoon position?
7. When you sleep at his place, you can seriously sprawl out because he has a bigger bed than you. Don't mind me, I'm just going to spread out like a kid making a snow angel because boy, you got rooooooom.
8. You always feel like you're rolling with your own personal bodyguard. Is this my security detail? No, but it's funny you should say that because that's absolutely what I want people to think when they see us together.
9. You can literally run and jump on him like you're in any movie love scene you've ever wanted to reenact and he won't tumble over. We've already done six different Notebook reenactments and it's not even Friday. This is the perfect relationship.
10. If you're short and you procreate with him, there's a fifty-fifty chance your kids will be tall. I think about this often and this is my strategy.
11. He's basically a Forehead Kissing Factory. Every time you hug him, your forehead is right there, ready to be kissed, and he takes every opportunity to get on that shit.
12. Your calves are super-ripped because you're on your tiptoes all the time. Six months of dating him is equivalent to a year of Ballet Beautiful classes.
13. He will for real pick you up. There is some part of me that absolutely wants to be picked up and carried. For romantic reasons and also because of laziness.
14. You will never lose him in a crowd. Even if you want to because he ate your Cheetos and those were your favorite and he knows it. Seriously, get your own bag.
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