How you perceive sex can have a far-reaching impact on your relationship.

Increasingly, people are starting to believe in sexual destiny, which is the essential belief that if two people are soul mates, or meant to be, the sex will automatically be perfect. Before you believe in sexual destiny, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself a few questions and consider a few important factors.

What are ‘destiny beliefs’?

Destiny beliefs imply that there’s a soul mate out there for you, and when you do chance upon this person, everything falls into place – emotional, mental and physical compatibility. While this belief is worth hanging onto, and may even be true to an extent, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment if someone is ‘almost perfect’, but you find them lacking in one or two areas.

How does sexual destiny work?

Sexual destiny uses sex and sexual satisfaction as one of the key barometers to decide how fulfilled you are in a relationship. Ask yourself a few questions: Did you fall in love before you had sex with each other? Did your emotional connection stem from before you discovered the sex was great? If the answer to this is yes, then you’ve probably hit the jackpot with this one. If not, don’t get carried away with great sex and use it as a barometer to judge your relationship – over the course of time, you’ll probably be setting yourself up for disappointment.

What is sexual growth?

Contrary to sexual destiny is sexual growth. This is the belief that all aspects of a relationship can be worked on, including sex. If both parties are willing to communicate and work on their sex life, just like they do on all other counts. What’s more, even if their sex life doesn’t improve, they don’t believe it’s a deal-breaker in the relationship and don’t let it affect other aspects of their life. This is a more realistic approach to relationships, where people are willing to work on them rather than want them to shape up organically.