Well…before I get begin let me say that I am not married. These are my thoughts on how people perceive sex and the high unreasonable expectations they have before marriage.

Many of these misconceptions about sex start early (this happens with both men and women) and take years to straighten out.

People tend to be so excited when they find someone they intend to spend the rest of their lives with. The focus of this intended union is largely to ‘reduced’ to SEX most of the time.

However, there are some pre-conceived beliefs about sexual intimacy that are completely wrong and it is important for these misconceptions to be cleared from people’s minds before they make the ‘journey of no return’.

1.Marriage is not all about sex

You’re probably thinking that marriage is filled with sex every second of the day and thousands of times in a week (well that’s if you’re not busy working). But, NO that’s not what it is. There may be a lot of sex in the beginning but when it dawns on you that there are a lot more things to do that sex, it’ll cease being the first thing on your mind every day.

2. Sex does not happen the way it does in movies

Most of what you might know about sex comes from you see in movies and on TV. In other words, sex looks like a spontaneous, flawless connection of love-making filled with romance, some slow music in a candle lit room. Sexual intimacy does NOT work like that. Don’t be disappointed though, real intimacy is different from what you see in the movies but it gets much better in the long run. This takes me to the next point…

3. Sex is like fine wine, it gets better with age

Sexual intimacy is something you get better and better at, as I mentioned earlier. It takes communication, practice and time. This is the way God intended it. Right now you think you’re so experienced no one else comes close but you can’t pass a sex test with what you know.

4. Sex is about giving not getting

God made sex in such a way that it requires both of you to give. And it's good to give (all the time). Don't be a taker only. Sexual intimacy is a great place to model sacrifice and service. If you get that into your head now, the getting will be even better. There's great beauty and mystery in the giving. Be generous.

5. Men and women think about sex differently

For men, sex is wrapped up in physical attraction and it's very visual and instantaneous. However take a seat, women think about sex in terms of the relationship, their security and how much they feel loved and pursued. For men, sex is like a light switch without a dimmer: you're totally ready at any moment (unless you're asleep... like dead asleep). For her, sex is like an electric cooker that takes a good part of the time to a simmer. You will both be frustrated by this. That's OK; it's part of God's wiring to bring you together on a deeper level.

6. Sex is more mysterious than you think

Again, right now your thoughts about sex are pretty simple. You're stuck in the physical, but God designed sexual intimacy to be way more complex than two bodies finding their way together. That whole one-flesh thing you've read in the Bible is real. It's hard to explain and I don't fully understand it, but something magical happens in the act of sex, something cosmic that links you both in a way that’s soul deep.

7. Sex can be fun, funny and playful

There are many angles of sexual intimacy, and some of them you're totally unaware of right now. You think of sex in one dimension, serious pleasure. However, sexual intimacy done right is a form of vulnerability and authenticity, and when you totally love someone and have nothing to hide – and I mean nothing – you are free to be your truest self.

8. Sex in marriage is a form of worship

Most of your thoughts about worship are confined to church and singing right now. So when I say sex is worship, you probably think I'm nuts. But soon you'll get a bigger picture. It's a fun point in our spiritual journey. This act is a form of worship, plain and simple, like singing a melodious hymn with your bodies.

Sex is beautiful if you apply it as the bible prescribes but expecting too much or making things up before you get married will only disappoint you.