When we enter into a relationship, we are always on our best behavior. This goes for men as well as women. After a while, our little quirks and idiosyncrasies tend to show. When this happens, it is either something that brings a relationship together, or it breaks them apart. So what are some things women should remember when we are in for a longer term relationship? When you have a problem in the relationship When things are not as peachy or as rosy as you would like them in your relationship, always talk it out with your man first. Do not be one of those girls who go to their girlfriends first. Really, I am not kidding. That is a big no-no. Think about it- wouldn’t you find it rude if he ran off and told his guy friends about everything wrong about your relationship with him but you had no idea? You need to address it with him first. Things that are worth talking about in a relationship are communication, dreams, wants in life, discontent feelings and even sexual relationship with each other. When it comes to the small stuff, leave it alone. Just suck it up and deal with it. If you really love the person, they will always have something that completely irks you, but if it is causing no harm besides being irritating, there is no need to bring it up. After all, there are probably quite a few things that irritate him about you. You know what the difference is? He doesn’t bring it up. Women are naturally inclined to nitpick- which brings me to the next section… Don’t be a nag What is funny about this statement is that women will never think they are a nag. In some cases women do recognize that they are a nag but think it is their God given right. Well, you do have the right to nag- but men also have the right to not be with someone who nags. The point is, men are not perfect (neither are you). Choose your battles. For example, if he does not fold the hand towel and place it on the rack to dry after using it and sticks it on the counter instead, don’t keep harping on it; just mention it. You will have to mention it probably a million and five times but it will eventually stick. When I say “mention” it that doesn’t mean screaming “hello! Why can’t you just put it back where it belongs- you never listen.” It should be mentioned in passing like “can you please put the towel back when you’re done?” Maybe even try reminding him while he is using it, although that will not guarantee results. Just keep in mind, the more you nag, the more your opinion and your “voice” are not heard. This is because although he may love you, he puts you on “ignore” because “all you do is nag”. If you are one of those nagging women out there (which we are all guilty of at one point or another) and you want to try and lay off the nagging, give him time to adjust to it. Do not get frustrated when he doesn’t pick up on it at first- after all, he is used to the nagging. When you choose to lay off the nagging, you will find that he might begin to ask you for your opinion or listen more intently. You will find that communication is easier because it is not clouded with nonsense. Point out the good things about him Believe it or not, men want to be recognized too. Although they may deny it until you know what freezes over, they still like the positive attention. The bottom line on this subject is that he needs to feel appreciated too. Funny thing about people in general is that they are the first to complain when someone does not recognize what they have done or what sacrifices they made to ensure something but when it comes to recognizing other people, it comes few and far between. Most of the time, we do not even realize that we fall short of showing appreciation for the people in our lives. This can go for any relationship you have whether it be with a significant other, a friend, family member or even a co-worker. This is something that is easy to fix in text version but not so easy to fix in our lives. Changing habits is a thirty day affair. If you can commit 30 days to showing people in your life you appreciate them, it will come as second nature. These are just a few common things that women tend to forget, myself included! So, the next time you are about to nag at him for leaving the toothpaste top off, telling him he did something wrong when he tried or running to your friends at the sign of a bump in the relationship, step aside and analyze your actions before you follow through with them.