Good day!

Have you had a crush before? You know, that feeling you have when you see someone you really like and your heart literally misses a beat?

Or you even sense his cologne and all of a sudden, you can't think of anything else but him? You gape at him so much that you run into a wall and bump your head? I bet you have had your share of this utterly confusing yet miserably beautiful feeling or whatever it is that we refer to as a crush.

Let me tell you about one of my crushes when I was an innocent little Legon girl. For privacy purposes let's call him Teddy, shall we? Oh he was tall and lanky. Friends who were close to me then knew these two descriptions totally drove me crazy but if he played any musical instrument at all, well then of course I would simply be 'drunk in crush'.

Hmmm, Teddy was actually a good friend, or more like a 'spiritus' brother. We used to hang out a lot and talk for hours unend as we had a lot in common. I remember making some pancakes one time, wrapping them ever-so sweetly and packing them into a take away pack for my Teddy. I walked all the way from my hall to his wondering, if he'd like my pancakes.

Well, I wasn't about to back out now, I told myself. Vim dey!!! Hm, until I got close to his room and peeped through his window only to find my crush Teddy chatting in his musical voice with some other 'spiritus' sister bi. Eiiii!!! This boy kill me oh!

Upon seeing them, I backed away slowly like Jerry who had seen sleeping Tom and did not want any wahala. To be honest, my heart was broken. That night I cried myself to sleep. The next time I saw Teddy, I smiled sweetly at him as if nothing had ever happened and everything went back to normal except for my heart.

I never ever had the courage to let Teddy know I had a crush on him. I was chicken! But actually come to think of it, is this not so because as young ladies we are somehow oriented to believe that a girl must never make the first move?

Recently, I had yet another opportunity to be a panelist on David Akuetteh's Diary Show on Luv FM to discuss the subject of women proposing to men first. My opinion was simple; in your twenties, the idea of being chased is actually exciting! You know, saying no to the poor boy a countless times when you're actually nuts over him, until another girl starts getting his attention?

That's fun and all but when you're in your thirties, you most likely know what you want in life and do not have the time or energy to do 'no no no yes no yes no yes ok yes please don't go'. At this point when you have a crush and the person has the potential to be Mr. Right Now, I don't believe you should lose guard kroaaa.

Of course if he is not your friend already, then you MUST do your background check to ensure he is a correct dude...you know, his family, workplace, friends, etc before you make any moves.

Here is what I propose, stage 1: give him hints-you know- compliment him, be extra attentive, call to check up on him every now and then, invite him over for dinner, go watch a movie, etc. But ladies, we all know sometimes men are either simply clueless or are wearing POP and can simply not make the first move even if their lives depends on it! If this is your wahala then Fabulous sister, move to stage 2: please be bold and tell him how you feel about him. Look, some men actually find it sexy when the woman makes the first move and I know some of such men.

In fact, when I asked a male friend how he would feel if a woman proposed to him first, this was his response: 'me do no rough (I will like her deeply). It's a turn on and I will respect her because it is a sign of confidence'. Interestingly, the response from the female callers on the show was 50-50, while ALL THE MALE CALLERS said they would not mind at all if a woman proposes first and they would not respect that woman any less. Well there you go! It's really in our heads, this fear of being rejected.

A fabulous woman must learn to be bold. Please, don't be a chicken like Ama Mbir, the little Legon girl!

Life is not that long for you to be dying inside anytime you see him but can't hold his hand or hear him say 'I love you'. Love really is beautiful but you need courage to start and sustain it. I say go for it! Seriously, what have you got to lose? You're already fabulous and nothing can change that.