When a couple divorces, both husband and wife usually experience sadness and sometimes even grief over the loss of the relationship. One of the spouses, or perhaps both, may feel as though he can't trust his own judgment or any other prospective mate. He may have a profound sense of failure. These feelings are normal. Step 1 Allow yourself to feel the emotions as they come up. This stage is important, according to the Women's Divorce website. Everything you feel is normal, but expect to go through a period where your ability to think clearly and make rational decisions is compromised. Step 2 Work through the “emotional” divorce just as you work through the “legal” divorce. The emotional side of divorce may include loneliness and mourning the loss of your former life, such as home, in-laws, financial stability and friends, says Women's Divorce. Step 3 Surround yourself with family and friends you know you can trust. Your identity as a wife or husband has just been shattered. Because you may feel that you failed in your marriage, your self-esteem will probably be suffering, according to Divorce Info, a website guide to divorce. Step 4 Learn to trust yourself as you confront the decisions you make in your new life. You’re going to doubt yourself, according to Divorce Info. You have to make your decisions based on the information you have, not on hindsight. Make your decisions and adjust them when you get new information. Keep an open mind, advises Woman's Divorce. Step 5 Make the changes in your new life based on what you want that life to be. Figure out what you want--be it an increased spiritual presence, the opportunity to spend time with the friends you enjoy, learning a craft or even pursuing a degree. It’s up to you to figure out what you want, says Divorce Info. Tips and warnings * To become comfortable with yourself as a newly single person, you need to get to know who you are. You’ll experience all the stages of grieving, according to Woman's Divorce. These include denial, anger, resentment, bargaining, depression and acceptance. * If your grief becomes so overwhelming that you cannot function, seek professional help.

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