Recently, I had an opportunity to sit with an old friend whom I had not seen for ages. We blabbed a lot about everything; in 10 minutes we tried to get a quick update on everything that had gone on in our lives over all these years we had been apart- you know us ladies (wink).

 So my friend had a very successful career as a lawyer and was doing big things; I was very happy for her. But of course, my konkonsa self would not let her go without asking her if she was dating anyone special. To my utter surprise, she told me that most of the men in her life were intimidated by her career success and usually backed off!

Yes, I was surprised because I had indeed heard of such stories but I never actually thought in practice men were intimidated by successful women. Not only was this fabulous woman Fanti, she was very beautiful in all the right places, smart and God-fearing. Which man would not want to take her home to meet his Mama? We both agreed that if we were men, we would love for our wives to be successful so that we could feel proud and brag to others about them.

Later, as I pondered over this issue I realized that 'no we are not men and we probably have no right to assume we would have treated women differently'. I wondered, perhaps men were intimidated by successful women because of how they (successful women) have acted in the past.

I cannot believe I am actually admitting this today but yes, SOMETIMES we women disrespect our husbands when we earn as much as or more than them. In such cases, we do not regard them as the head of the home and refuse to submit to them. Heck, SOMETIMES we yell at them as if they are our kids. And yes, we make their lives miserable by flaunting our successes in their faces and making them feel inadequate as men. Some of us consistently spend most of our time trying to make more money and neglect the needs of our men. There is nothing fabulous about that!

So why won't some men refuse to date and marry their co-equals based on these things that we SOMETIMES do? A man will always be a man. Whether we like it or YES! God in His infinite wisdom chose a man to be the head of the home and not a woman. We women must respect this no matter how successful we are. We must still serve them their meals as if they are kings, we must use 'please' when requesting something from them and say 'thank you' when they do something for us. And yes, we MUST say 'sorry' when we are wrong. In fact, a wise fabulous woman says sorry even when she knows she is right because she is smart enough to know that a man has an ego and there is not much she can do about that except pray for patience to deal with it.

I once heard the story of a woman who was richer than her husband. She wanted to buy a ‘tear rubber’ (brand new) car with her own hard-earned money but her husband said no. This woman insisted and bought it anyway. You can imagine the 3rd world war at her home!

There is a reason why the Bible commands us to submit to our husbands. A smart woman knows that she wins her husband's love when she is submissive.

Fabulous woman, you may be the boss at work but the minute you walk through your gates into your home, you are a wife. Don't get me wrong, I don't practice submission to perfection; IT IS HARD! But, let's take it one little step at a time. Make conscious little efforts and gradually we will master the art of submission and hopefully one at a time, more men will see that it really is cool to marry a successful woman.

May God help us to be fabulously submissive!

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