Find out what you need to ask yourself to determine if he's even worth a second date.

Let's face it: Dating is a learning experience.

As a psychologist specializing in relationships, one of the things I encourage my dating clients to do is to use their experience to learn to trust your gut. It's important to hone your intuitive skills, starting from the first text, email, phone call, after the first date. Too often, you might pick up something subtle that doesn't feel right in your gut, but you ignore it, and then later on it proves accurate — after you've already been hurt. Never ignore your intuition!

One way of honing your intuitive skills is to write down your first feelings and reactions, and then go back and re-read what you wrote after your first date, or even later if you continue to date the person. Were your gut feelings accurate? (Probably!) There is powerful learning in discovering that you can trust your gut feelings.

If you are willing to strengthen your intuition and go with your gut, rather than feeling the first-date blues when a first date doesn't turn out well, you can feel the excitement of learning to trust yourself! It's actually far more important to learn to trust yourself than to have a great first date. Your first dates will get better and better as you learn to trust the subtle messages of your gut reactions.

That said, it's important to accept that you will not connect with everyone and everyone will not connect with you — and this has nothing to do with there being anything wrong with you. Not every date becomes a relationship, and that's fine! Most of us have a relatively limited number of people with whom we have a deep heart connection. When you accept this, then it's much easier to not take rejection personally — or to not even see it as rejection.

You have to learn to trust yourself and feel your feelings. Here are questions to ask yourself to make that happen — and to ultimately help yourself find the love you deserve.

Questions you need to ask yourself about your potential partner:

1. Do they move way too fast or come on way too strong? Not a good sign. In fact, this can be a sign of narcissism: come on fast and leave fast. Beware if sex is offered or pursued very early on, because they may not stick around much longer after that.
2. Are they Prince Charming, saying just the things that you want to hear? Watch out, sister! Narcissistic people have an uncanny way of being brilliant and charming, and knowing exactly what to say to you that you want to hear. There's a reason fairy tales are fiction.
3. Does they tell you early on that they have never met anyone like you — that they have never felt as connected with anyone as they do with you? Chances are they're right, but that doesn't mean they're honest.
4. Does he pretty much masturbate in a "me, me, me" conversation? Does they talk a lot about themselves and keep bringing the conversation back to themselves when you are talking? That's a narcissist. A textbook narcissist at that.
5. Do they blame their exes for all their past relationships not working out? Chances are if someone does that, it's actually the complete opposite that's true.
6. Do you have a hard time feeling connected with the person because he or she is in their head rather than their heart?
7. Do you find you connect intellectually but not emotionally?
8. Is he super needy?
9. Is he a people-pleaser? Does he constantly need your approval?
10. Does the person show up late, seem resistant to making plans, come without any means to pay for a meal or coffee, or in other ways appear irresponsible or resistant? Hint: If he seems irresponsible or resistant, he probably is. Run!
11. What is your mindset when you go on a date? Are you primarily concerned about what your date will think of you? Are you primarily concerned about what you will think of your date? You need to approach dating with the latter mindset. If you're focused on whether or not your date likes you, you'll miss important red flags and won't even figure out whether or not you like them.

Of course, if you fit these descriptions, then you have some inner work to do to get ready for a healthy, loving and committed relationship. Work that includes therapy.