Struggling with thoughts of an ex who isn’t around anymore can leave you thrilled they're gone, troubled about ending the obsession over them, and just plain bad about your breakup.
Here are 12 cold-turkey tactics to get over your ex once and for all, according to a love coach:
1. Go cold turkey.
Getting over your ex can be like an addiction. The best way to break most addictions is to go cold turkey. Don’t call, text, email, live chat, or communicate by carrier pigeon.
Avoid them on all social media. Don’t telegraph them subliminal messages with your profile updates. Better yet, delete them from all of your networks so you don’t see their newest status updates and get thrown into a funk.
2. Stop stalking them online.
Tell your friends who are still connected on social media with your ex that you don’t want to hear about anything your ex does or says online.
3. Learn something new or renew a hobby.
This is an excellent time to pick a new hobby or start something up again that you haven’t done in a while. What have you always wanted to try but never had time for? Have you been neglecting your hiking boots, guitar, or commitment to narrative poetry?
Dust off your old hobbies and master classical guitar. Do whatever you need to do to stay distracted.
4. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex.
If you can’t bear to throw these items in the trash yet, box them up and put them deep in a dark closet or give them to a trusted friend.
5. Call all of your friends.
Renew your friendships with your best friends. Once you get the breakup story out of the way, shut up about your ex and enjoy your friends’ company. Don’t forget to ask about their lives also.
You don’t want to be the friend whose calls get ignored because she always prattles on and on about her ex. Your friends who love you will listen to a significant amount of complaining about how devastated you are, but this leads us to this next tip.
6. Don’t say their name.
Make your ex’s name forbidden. After the first three weeks of a bad breakup, stop talking about your ex. Tell your close friends you don’t want to talk about your ex or hear about them at all. If they’re good friends, this shouldn’t be a problem.
7. Take yourself out on a date.
You’re going to have to adjust to single life again. Sometimes, a single life involves doing things alone. Take yourself to dinner and a movie. Go to a place you love with a good book, and you pick the movie for once.
Focus on feeling nurtured and positive rather than scared and lonely. Focus on the self-nurture aspect of spending some time and money on yourself.
8. Take a spa day.
Zone out and get a massage or a facial. While this can get pricey if you do it all the time, sometimes there is no better way to soothe emotional wounds than to improve your exterior.
If you can’t afford a trip to the spa, make your bathroom into an oasis and take a long bath with candles and a good book.
9. Join a gym.
This is a great time to get in shape. Have a few lingering New Year's resolutions you've never really met? There’s no better time than the present to start working on yourself.
10. Turn Comedy Central on repeat.
Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.
11. Do not run into your ex.
There’s no one better acquainted with your ex's daily routine than you are. Avoid places they hang out, avoid places on their daily route, avoid, avoid, avoid anywhere you might see them.
Even months later, it will still feel uncomfortable to see him. Similar to going cold turkey, but very important.
12. Dip your toe into the dating pool.
You may not feel ready to date anyone new seriously, and this is okay. Remember, there are other people, and some of them are wonderful.
If you don’t trust yourself to come home from a date and miss your ex-boyfriend even more, leave the toe-dipping alone until you’re ready. You know who you are and what stage you’re in.
The bottom line is getting over a breakup is a two-step forward, one-step backward process. One day, you feel wonderful and ready to move on. The next day, you wake up with that ball of ice in your stomach and feel like you couldn’t possibly miss your ex more than you already do.
Let this emotional process be okay. The more you do the things on this list and stay positive about yourself, the easier it will be to get over your ex.
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