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Demi and Ashton, Catherine and Michael, Harrison and Calista; Hollywood has plenty of examples of couples with significant age differences. While the glamorous relationships of wealthy stars may seem like a good idea, translating that type of wedded bliss to your own relationship when you have a large age gap can be difficult. By acknowledging the individual challenges that you face in a relationship with a significant age difference, you can communicate your concerns and work toward finding solutions that can help diffuse tension and buck the social taboos for your relationship.
Define your relationship
When dealing with significant age difference, take care to avoid slipping into a parent-child relationship. Often, the younger person in the relationship can begin to look up to the older one or look for approval and permission. This stops the relationship from progressing romantically and reverts it to a relationship with an authority figure. Talk about how you'd like your relationship work, and watch for signs of that parent-child relationship.
Talk about life plans
The older person in the relationship may be ready to settle down and start retirement through traveling and leisure, while the younger person hopes to have children and enjoy a family. If this is the case, a deep incompatibility can threaten to corrupt the relationship. Make sure that your significant other knows your plans for the future, and discern whether those plans can be compromised in any way to find a solution that you're both pleased with.
Separate Finances
The age difference can throw a wrench into your financial plans. One partner will likely outlive the other, based on the age difference, which can leave the other partner in a financial bind, notes the L.A. Times. It's a good idea to keep accounts separate so that the younger partner has access to his own funds and, if decided upon, is willed the funds left from his older partner. When it comes to retirement planning and planning for the future, being realistic about the age difference and what that means for your life together is an important way to organize your finances.
Social Life
No matter how much you love your significant other, it's important to maintain a social life with friends your own age, says "Self Help" magazine. You'll need the time with someone from your own generation and age group. If you are the younger partner, going out and having a good time can help you feel youthful again; remember that you'll never regain your youthful years. If you are the older partner, spending time with people your own age can help you slow down and take much-needed break.
Ignore Taboos
Certain pop-culture phrases, such as "cougar" or "gold-digger" may cause you to feel ashamed about your relationship with someone much older or younger than yourself. The truth is that if you are committed to a healthy and loving relationship, you can ignore the snide, hurtful or insensitive remarks about your relationship. Work on proving to your friends and family that you are with someone who is ideal for you and you needn't worry about what the rest of society thinks about your relationship.
Source: livestrong.com
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