The breakup of a marriage can be a challenge for children of any age. While social progress and a better understanding of human development may have made divorce less traumatic for children than it was years ago, divorce is still tough for children to deal with. Parents who are contemplating or already in the stages of a divorce need to focus on their child's special needs during this process. Similiarity to Grieving Process The Kubler-Ross "Five Stages of Grief" apply to children of divorce. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Children from as young as 4 years of age to teenagers will experience these five stages of the process of grieving over the loss of their normal family life. How long each stage lasts, and how intensively each stage is experienced, can be mediated by professional counseling and wise, cooperative and unselfish parental support. All five stages warrant close attention and immediate response. Stage of Denial Children who are mature enough to sense tension and troubles in a marriage, and who are aware of what the word "divorce" means, will still be in denial when the divorce process starts. Tweens and teens can react to this denial stage by becoming withdrawn or pretending to "not care" about what they see transpiring between their parents. Children can even become argumentative and refuse to face reality. This is their way with coping with a blow to their sense of security. Symptoms of Anger Anger at one or both parents is very common with children going through a divorce. This anger stage can be very distinct and last a long time--years, in fact--before the child is mature enough to understand the complexities of marriage, including how and why they fail. Some children may act out violently or express their anger against siblings, pets or inanimate objects. Type of Bargaining It is common for children to try to set right what is wrong in the home by bargaining with parents. A child may present a "deal," like, "I'll be good, I promise, if you just don't divorce Daddy." This kind of futile and heart-wrenching bargaining is a child's natural and instinctual effort to exert control over the situation and preserve the status quo. Signs of Depression Children of divorce will reach a stage when they experience a profound sadness and frustration over a changed family life and a grief at the loss of daily contact with a non-custodial parent. This depression can be expressed through sullenness and a lack of interest in normal activities, but also by manic and reckless behaviors--and a seesawing between the two poles. Final Stage: Acceptance In most cases where counseling and coordinated support from both parents is consistent, most children eventually come to accept and adapt to a divorce. As children grow older, they can often perceive positives in the situation, such as an end to domestic violence and abuse, or the gain of new stepparents and step-siblings in their lives. Social Pressures Fortunately, social taboos about divorce are no longer as difficult for children as they were perhaps 30 or 40 years ago. Today, divorce is so prevalent that most schoolchildren have many peers who have divorced parents. Children have become good at supporting each other by sharing their divorce experiences and reassuring each other that divorce is not the end of the world.