How grandparents can help parents

The arrival of children is a momentous event for parents, but also for grandparents. As grandparents, you want to be involved in the lives of your grandchildren. You may also want to share the benefit of your parenting experience so that your children don’t make the same mistakes you did. But parents can resent grandparents intruding into their lives. You’ll need to find ways to offer help your children will truly appreciate. Support Sometimes the best way grandparents can help parents is to offer emotional support and reassurance that the children are developing normally and the parents are doing the right thing. Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, Clinical Professor Emeritus of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School, notes that grandparents can provide a safe place for parents to vent and take out their frustrations. You’ve been there before, so your words carry some weight. Raising children overwhelms even the best parents sometimes. Watch for signs and offer a kind word whenever you can. A break According to the United States Census Bureau, in 2005 30 percent of children under 5 whose mothers worked outside the home were cared for regularly by grandparents. If you live close to your grandchildren, the parents may think of you as a built-in babysitter. And you may enjoy the role. But you’ll need to set some boundaries so that you don’t feel tied down or taken advantage of. At the same time, if your children are the type who never ask you to babysit for fear of imposing, and you want to help care for your grandchildren, go ahead and volunteer. If they’re still reluctant, present the babysitting as a gift to them, to allow them to have a night out to themselves. A relationship Grandparents offer their grandchildren the opportunity to have a different kind of relationship with an adult to whom they’re related. When children and parents clash, grandparents can relieve some of the pressure by providing a listening ear for both sides. You don’t have to take sides, but you may be able to help both your child and your grandchild see things from a different perspective. Money If you’re in a better financial position than your children you can help them financially, from buying a nicer stroller than they could afford to contributing to daycare costs or setting up a college fund for your grandchild. You might provide free childcare to ease the strain on the family budget. Not every grandparent is in a position to contribute money to their grown children, but many do.

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