Overview No one gets married hoping to divorce. No doubt you married your spouse with the best of intentions to make your life together a happy one. Unfortunately, life doesn't always go according to plan, and for myriad reasons, you may find yourself in a troubled marriage. As discouraged as you might feel over the state of your relationship, it is possible to fix whatever problems exist between you and your spouse. With plenty of effort and a plan, offer to repair your damaged marriage and make it work. Step 1 Decide together that you want to fix your marriage. To work through your problems, you need to be sure that saving your marriage is what both of you want. If one partner is committed but the other is not, nothing will be resolved. Decide that the two of you are in this together and you're both willing to do anything necessary to get your marriage back on track. Step 2 Be honest with each other. You can't just ignore a problem into going away, especially if it is causing contention in your marriage. Unacknowledged issues lead to distrust and resentment. Even if you have some very painful confessions to make to one another, tell the truth. Being able to discuss your issues freely is the key to resolving them. Step 3 Listen to each other's concerns. This is harder than it sounds. If you and your spouse have fallen into a pattern of constant arguing, both of you have likely developed the habit of striving to make your point at all costs. This approach only leads to frustration, anger and more arguing. Instead of mentally formulating your next reply, listen to your spouse when she is talking to you. Focus on trying to understand her point of view, even if you don't agree. Step 4 Spend time together. With all of the demands of daily living, it is remarkably easy to lose touch with the person who should be your top priority. Make sure the two of you are spending time together. This is especially important if your marriage is in trouble. You need to reconnect with your spouse, and it is impossible to do this if you don't make time for each other. Go out on a date every week, just the two of you. Rediscover why you fell in love in the first place. Step 5 Seek counseling if necessary. Some problems are bigger than you and your spouse, and you may need professional help to fix them. If you're both frustrated because your best efforts don't seem to be making any difference, enlist the help of a good therapist or counselor. Tips and Warnings • Perform simple acts of kindness for each other, without expecting anything in return. Express appreciation and gratitude for each other. Make sure your friends and loved ones know your goal is to save your marriage; you will need their support. • Things may get worse for a time before they get better. Don't give in to discouragement; working through your problems will take time. Source: livestrong.com