After  a thrilling discussion on why men rape, I've had some of the honest and brutal responses from men as to why "they" rape plus how the men can actually have the cookies without having to steal it.

I must say that I've also had some accusing me for turning the tables against them. Today, I want to answer the questions you probably think I wouldn't, plus I'll give you an idea as to how to deal with this whole rape situation.

You're in for a very good education as well because I've been interacting with some legal brains as well as a sociologist.

First, the response I got from an "ordinary" man to the question I had been seeking an answer to -- that's why men rape -- was that men actually rape women they know they don't deserve. They know on a normal day, the woman will never give in to sex if they used all their skills to charm her. This will not happen. Not even in the woman's dreams.

For example, there's no way a security guard at a reputable bank would dream of dating a pretty woman who's risen to say a manager. But if he thinks he can't control his feelings towards that lady and can't also be bold enough to say it, he strategizes on how to get it forcefully. Now, this is one example.

For the sociologist, there are three basic reasons for which men rape.

First is an excess of libidinal energy. The sociologist I spoke with, who's also a medical doctor, says men usually get to this stage when they have a weak ego and superego. Why? because they know rape is wrong but because their system is weak, they go ahead and do it.

Second, some men have this wrong perception that some women will only agree to bed them only after use of force. That is, some women only enjoy sex when you give it to them forcefully. And I hear this even goes on in marriages. Well, I cannot confirm my latter statement though.

Finally another reason for which some men rape has to do with their orientation. When people grow up in a violent environment, they become violent. To wit, if they grew up in homes where papa beat mama and experienced other violent acts without anyone correcting the wrongs, they could form poor personalities which would make them take this violent route. Thus, the decision to rape.

Legally, according to Section 97 of  Ghana's Criminal and Other Offences Act, 1960 (ACT 29):

"Whoever commits rape shall be guilty of a first degree felony and shall be liable on conviction to imprisonment for a term of not less than five years and not more than twenty-five years."

Section 98, Definition of Rape:

"Rape is the carnal knowledge of a female of sixteen years or above without her consent."

Section 99, Evidence of Carnal Knowledge:

"Whenever, upon the trial of any person for an offence punishable under this Code, it is necessary to prove carnal knowledge or unnatural carnal knowledge, the carnal knowledge or unnatural carnal knowledge shall be deemed complete upon proof of the least degree of penetration."

So now we're sure what the law says regarding rape in Ghana.

Let me go a step further and bring in the English sexual offences law, 2003:

Part 1-- Sexual Offences

Rape

1Rape

(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—

(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,

(b)B does not consent to the penetration, and

(c)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

(2)Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.

(3)Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.

(4)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life.

Assault

2Assault by penetration

(1)A person (A) commits an offence if—

(a)he intentionally penetrates the vagina or anus of another person (B) with a part of his body or anything else,

(b)the penetration is sexual,

(c)B does not consent to the penetration, and

(d)A does not reasonably believe that B consents.

(2)Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.

(3)Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.

(4)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life.

So how do men who choose not to rape go about it without the ladies knowing? Now I want my ladies to pay attention here. They have many schemes.

The first trick is to look out for desperate women who want to marry or "settle down". They come in playing to your tune that they also really want to get married. Then they go on to make you believe that you're actually the right person they've been looking for.

Proposal is usually within a week or two. Some could even hold on until a month. Others are daring enough to go see your family. At this point, you're convinced you've found your Adam. They get what they want and there'll be a lot of excuses to end the relationship.

Second trick. For those who are very ‘Chrife' or religious, they again play to your tune of example ‘no sex before marriage' blah blah. They ensure they make you believe you're on the same page. Now as the relationship moves on, you establish such a strong emotional bond and trust that you begin to relax at this time. Whatever he says may become the truth to you. He actually could also go and see your family and do the ‘knocking'. He gets what he wants and moves on. Ah…don't ask for more.

So, how do you tackle rape cases? According to the sociologist I spoke with, rape has nothing to do with how women dress. He thinks men who know they have excess libidinal energy and are prone to violence should see a therapist to prevent them from raping.

For the women? Communicate better. If you say no, mean it with your actions. Don't show him you're in the mood and utter a feeble no. If it's no. Say NO! It's N and O.

I hope I've helped? I did sort everyone out right? We'll meet again.

Please remember to give me your feedback. Email me via claireadu@yahoo.com and follow me on my facebook page ‘Beatrice Adu'.