“The sanctity of your marriage is evident in the sequential crescendo of activities predating the wedding affair as well as the final play of events towards the appointed date.” This is a paraphrased summary of a conversation I had with an ex-bachelor friend during his wedding reception. He stood convinced his marriage would see the gutters within the first five years of its registration and nothing I said swayed his resolve. Amazingly, after a passionate ensuing recount of the rationale behind his resolve, I was left in quiet contemplation of the facts; it sounds witless but perhaps a bride’s coif could alter the blissful ‘till-death-do-us-part’ train of her marriage. His submissions I fear steered me, a pending groom, over to his side. I do expect you might appreciate the absurd wisdom of our resolve after this read. It all begun two weeks prior to the set date for the wedding; his then fiancée, the proprietor of all the wedding arrangements, called to solicit his counsel on the appropriate fashion to style her hair for the due date. Interestingly, she seemed receptive to his expert ideas in this regard unlike her oblivious countenance to his thoughts on other areas of the wedding plans. In spite of everything, he had financed and styled the results of all her salon appointments during their two year courtship hence the opening. Pleased to be of service, he elaborately recommended a simple fix; relaxing her shoulder length natural hair into luxurious curls pulled back into a loose chignon with a white rose in its bay. Why try complex when it would come of moments later in bed? Apparently, her excitement with his response was beyond ecstatic. His was a smitten countenance days before the wedding; he had skilfully eroded his place amongst the statistics of grooms with the relinquished right to contribution to their nuptials. Alas she failed him when she waltzed down the aisle on the faithful date in utter beauty but for her face and hair. The makeup was wrong and deeply betrayed the visage of a twentieth century courtesan; thick foundation a tone too light, glossy red lips a tone too deep, uneven bended lines in place of shaved eyebrows, gold highlights over the eyelids a tad too much and the grand flourish – rouged cheeks a tone too deep and a bit too much. But her hair, the core culprit of his sad resolve, carried on the sentiments of her face a tad just too much. The weaved extensions of purchased bits were wrapped into an intricately confusing basket of sorts with a portion of tresses styled to curl down her right shoulder. An interesting feature in the artistic arrangement was the formation of a curled moustache at the edge of the basket; two strands pinned in bended fashion to depict the said image. So perhaps she was edging towards the haute couture look popular in the editorial spreads of fashion magazines; her slender frame, gorgeous gown and somewhat striking disposition gave that away, but she forgot that prêt-a-porter was the heeded fashion advice for real weddings. Certainly his bruised ego could have provoked his resolve; admittedly it contributed to the impression though at a micro level. But beyond that, he failed to see the woman he fell in love with in front of him. As juvenile as it sounds, men like to be reminded of the first time they fell in love with their brides and look to their wedding days to reinforce that sensation. However beyond all these, the prominent reasons for his resolve revolved around the following; First her actions demonstrated a lack of compromise which is the cornerstone of the institution of marriage. His views and opinions were unreciprocated in the planning of their wedding; a day which marked the debut of their lives in tandem. In fact any attempt to impose his counsel incited a long emotion-filled soliloquy of how unreasonable and unresponsive he was to her needs. How can he be unreasonable when nothing he proposed was accepted or unresponsive when he signed away, without question, the requisite capital to procure her wedding? And she lied to him when she claimed to approve of his counsel nevertheless decided on something else and blackmailing him emotionally in the process. Why feign enthusiasm and acceptance when you feel otherwise especially during lovemaking? Did their lovemaking truly reflect her gratitude or reinforce her guilt? Even if she changed her mind at the last minute, why not communicate this to him but carry on the charade of enthusiasm? Without doubt, relaying her alternatives would have further bruised his ego yet does it not demonstrate respect for your partner? In the end, the notion that bridal coifs can affect the sanctity of matrimony is preposterous and absurd but what if it veils a partner’s flagrant ignorance of the prominent features of the scared institution; honesty and compromise - does it then merit our concentration? By Kweku Anane-Appiah