1. “Sex was great but we still have issues to resolve”
Never use sex to blanket your issues as a couple. Sex is not the best way of measuring a good relationship; it’s possible to have explosive sex even with someone who hurts you. Do calm down after the high and talk about your issues. Make up sex is good, but only when actual making up occurs and matters are addressed.

2. “I wonder what your HIV status is”
Worry creeps in when you begin to think you might have just opened a door to your life that will harm you. When you know very well the person you have just been with is unfaithful, and chances are, has been getting some sugar from other quarters.

3. “I miss making love”
This is a tragic thought, when sex with your spouse is just that- sex, no love. The warmth is gone, no intimacy, just two horny bodies, a partner who demands your sex, you give it and then the partner walks away like you were some form of a sex slave. Whether you will have a quickie, rough sex or slow and passionate sessions, your spouse must feel loved. After the release, hold each other, have a heart to heart conversation, kiss.

4. “I hope I was good enough”
One of the biggest insecurities lie in our performance in bed. The stakes are so high in a world where a man wants a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed, men openly drool over blue movie stars, and women with big behinds and boobs; in a world where women show excitement over men who are sex-symbols, so much music going on of men praising how great they are in bed, plus all the ridicule and stereotyping surrounding the size of a man’s tool. It comforts the heart when your spouse tells you “You did me so well!” and it’s believable. If you expect your spouse to be faithful, then your natural desire is that your spouse finds your sex amazing.

5. Are you up for another round?
This is for the hot couple, the lovers driving each other wonderfully crazy. A woman can go for many back to back rounds but the man might take some few minutes, in those minutes, keep it steamy, explore.

6. “I hope I’ll get pregnant this time”
This is a deep cry of a couple that has been trying to get pregnant but in vain. Pressure is more on the woman to get a baby and often when the pressure is too much it ruins the chances of her getting a baby. Her husband should keep her feeling relaxed and wanted, loved with or without a baby.

7. “I hate faking a climax”
Only a woman can do this, a man cannot fake his climax since for him there must be a white larva explosion as evidence. Many wives are frustrated in bed, women who feel their man only cares about himself. So she fakes it to end her misery quickly as he feels he is a conqueror. If you are not a virgin, the worst part is when you think “This is not the best I have had”, comparing your current sexual experience with that of a mind-blowing one you had with an old flame.

8. “I hate myself”
This is the thought of those selling their bodies, the thought of the one who has just cheated on their partner with another, the thought of the one who is breaking a marriage, the one who feels cheap, used and dirty. Sex is a gift from God, but if you abuse it, guilt will follow you, sex will cause you pain. Sex will be a high you run to that leaves you low, and to cope with that low some run to sex again and the cycle continues. So many hide behind fake smiles, praising the wonderful sex they are having in affairs or with multiple partners but deep inside they are empty. Stop ruining the beauty of sex for yourself.

9. “Oh my goodness that was amazing!”
This is the best feeling, the best thought. When he looks at his wife and kisses her, when she looks at him and feels loved. This is the height of intimacy. The moment where “I love you” gets its deepest meaning.

10. “What if I get pregnant?”
After the trembling sweet O, harsh reality then sinks in. The two bodies cool after a steamy encounter. Perhaps the condom broke, perhaps no condom was used. She sees herself pregnant and gets scared. Again the morning after pill is about to be searched for. She’s not ready to be a mother; he is not ready to be a father. To make it worse, they don’t know each other well, they are not even a couple, and they are not married. Maybe soon comes abortion, next comes an emotional scar. Why are you playing with sex?