Audio By Carbonatix
SPRINGFIELD, Missouri -- The Christian faith promotes the ideas of marriage and intimacy, and now some local Christians are tackling the topic of sex in church with the hope of saving marriages.
The class that addresses the topic of intimacy at Second Baptist Church is so popular there is a waiting list just to get in. Allison Champion is the marriage therapist who teaches the class along with her husband Tim.
"The first ten years were pretty rocky for us as a couple, and if we can help save some people and young couples from going through some of the struggles that we did, then we're all for that," Champion said.
The Champions share their own stories to help married couples improve their friendships, handle conflicts, and better their sex lives. The class meets once a week and is meant for newlyweds all the way up to empty nesters.
"Now that we don't have our kids to talk about constantly and figure out problems with them, now what do we talk about, you know?" said Christy Sanders, married 25 years to Kent Sanders.
The Sanderses are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this year. For them, learning how to be together again, without the responsibility of raising two children, has been a big transition.
"We needed to find a new direction," Christy Sanders said.
That's where the Champions come in, with specific instructions for developing or rekindling intimacy. Their teaching style makes their class very different from church courses offered in the past, based solely on the Bible.
"There is a deficit I have found, within the Christian community, that couples are not aware of what healthy sexuality is," Champion said.
Discussing sex in the church is something that, for many years, was considered taboo. But up to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, even for Christian couples, and teachers like the Champions believe avoiding the topic was only making things worse.
"In the Bible, sex is a gracious gift. It's a wonderful gift," said Dr. John Marshall, a conservative southern Baptist.
Marshall has been a minister more than 40 years and is the lead pastor at Second Baptist.
"You just didn't talk about it (sex). You certainly didn't talk about it to your parents; you assumed the stork delivered you. You never thought your mom and dad had ever had sex," Marshall said.
Marshall said he was in favor of the Champions' straightforward approach and viewed the new class as something that could strengthen his congregation.
"The objective is very clear: to keep our couples married. They stay together 'til death do they part," Marshall said.
The Champions not only address the topic, they delve into the details.
"If sex is once a month, that is a red flag," Champion said.
Champion said, on average, married couples in their 20s and 30s should be having sex three to four times a week. She said that number changes with age, down to twice a week for couples in their 40s and once a week for couples in their 50s and 60s.
"We focus on talking about what is a turn on for you and what are some things that are appealing to you. If you don't know for yourself, then your mate certainly won't know," she said.
The Champions also encourage students to work on other problems in weekly marriage meetings and schedule date nights to enjoy each other's company.
"Sometimes you have to get a little creative find out where you can carve out even nuggets, small nuggets, of time together," Champion said.
The Sanders said those practices have helped them reconnect.
"I married my best friend, and I just want to maintain that and do everything I can," Kent Sanders said.
Allison Champion has a master's degree is Marriage and Family Therapy from the Forest Institute. In addition to teaching marriage classes, she also counsels couples in a private practice.
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