I woke up in the middle of the night. My heart was palpitating. My bed was wet. I was sweating like a pregnant fish. I had just had another nightmare and I could not get over it. When I realized it was indeed another dream, I broke down in tears; the reason being that I had been at this place for far too long….It was like being in a circle and never getting out of it.

I got my job in 2009 just few months after I graduated from the University. I started as a national service person and then I was retained. I was the most fortunate girl on the planet. Two years later, my boyfriend of a year and a half married me. Yippee.

I was in the sales department of my company. But things took an astringent turn when one of my loyal customers bolted with two hundred and fifty thousand dollars…..Every address the company knew ceased working. Now I have been given three months to get the money or be fired. Where am I to get this money?

When I thought that was all, Selorm, my husband’s company collapsed under serious economic conditions and he’s come home. Being the man as he is, he can’t take the shame and worse of all he’s kept blaming me for being unwise to such extent. My marriage is failing and I’m about losing my job in the next three months without a miracle.

So I thought of these two whilst I laid in bed after mid-night. I picked my phone to call one of my Pastors. He did not pick. I called the second one; he also did not pick then I thought, ‘girl, they could be sleeping. Call late morning’. I called both after 11 am that day and none picked.

I was heart-broken but I told myself, “maybe it’s time to face the music alone”.

Two days later, I was ill so I could not stay at work till my closing time. When I got home, I was told by my niece who had come to stay with us that my two year old son had been rushed to the hospital. I hurriedly followed up. I found my husband who looked almost equally frustrated as I was. Koby was admitted and for one week, doctors could not tell what was wrong with him. Then it moved to one month, still no cause for his illness. He kept getting worse with stomach, head and body aches.

I cried almost throughout. Why all these at the same time? What sin did I commit? I decided to visit one of the Pastors since I could not reach him the other time. “Hello, sister so so and so. You’re welcome”; with a grin on his face.  “Sit down” he said. Then I did. “ How may I be of help today?” Before I could talk, tears were already down my chin and in my dress.

I told him of everything. Then I got the most shocking responses of my life……one was “ Erm…..I am not a judge. God forbid. But I think you must check your life and your walk with God. Maybe you just might not be living right. The truth hurts but it makes one free…”

He continued, “you know God cannot be mocked, when God gives you a job, He expects you to be as committed in Church as you were before you got the job. You don’t push him to the back pew and expect him in the front pew to answer you when you need Him. He demands service as well. But it is well eh..”.

Then I felt maybe he had a beef with me so I said ‘Maybe so. Thank you. Then I left’. Meanwhile, the bills were piling up at the hospital and the insurance was just about announcing they could not continue again. Jesus! I screamed when I got home. What did I do?  

Then I had some of the people who obviously didn’t like me even when everything was alright beginning to up their game against me. I lost it all. So I decided to seek God for myself. Probably it was time to indeed find my feet. It had been two months since Hurricane Matthew and within this time, I was really disappointed I didn’t want to hear the name….God or Jesus. But something just rose up in me. It was like drowning and seeing your very death. I did not want to go down the drain.

I lost weight. And I had no appetite for any good meal. I ate because I wanted to sustain myself. I told myself to give it a try….just one more time. Then I said. “God. I know you can hear me. I need your help”. “Speak to me please”. I added……with tears blinding me. Within minutes, I felt a hunger for the WORD. Then I opened my Bible and found Psalm 91. Then I went on and found Psalm 27. Then again I found Isaiah 43…Oh, so he’s been with me all this while? I started feeling peace I never thought possible. I begun praying more often. And I knew that “indeed the deep calleth unto the deep”.

I had a call from the hospital two weeks later that strangely, Koby’s health was improving…..then someone walked to the hospital to pay the bills and left us a thousand dollars plus her call card. I was in tears again. I called and that was actually a mate I helped to understand mathematics…who eventually passed her exam and never forgot the time I spent teaching her. I don’t know how she got to know I needed that help.

Selorm came home for the first time in two months two weeks and his attitude towards me changed. It was like picking apples in the valley when there seemed to be a famine. I thought it was all a dream.

Sika is also my very good friend who seems to have all going well for her. She called me in tears about issues with her fiancé and guess what? I was more than equipped to help her. Guess how the job issue turned out? I’ll tell you the next time we meet please. Hahaha.

What situation are you in? Don’t pray to get out of it. No. I listened to Priscilla Shirer, a preacher in the US. She said the greatest miracle God can do for you is not to change your circumstances but to change your heart whilst you are in the circumstance. How true! Things would definitely change for the better but you need to be better.  

God changed my heart whilst I was in that wilderness; in that fire; in that river. And then His miracles followed. This thing really works. It does. Taken ten years or more? Please don’t give in.

You may say you’re saying this because yours turned around within months……don’t forget, I talked about being a better you…..and many more. There’s absolutely nothing that can work against you. Absolutely nothing. Keep believing. Keep the hope alive. Keep the faith strong. It may only mean a little more time.

Come on, tell someone else to rise up and walk; there’s power available.

Please let me hear from you via claireadu@yahoo.com.Follow me on my page on facebook, Beatrice Adu….personal account Beatrice Abena Adu and on twitter, I’m@ Beatrice4Adu