The paradox of men being dependent on independent women

Thursday, March 6, marked another International Women’s Day, a time to reflect on women's strides in various spheres of life.

Yet, while celebrating women's achievements, a lingering irony stares us in the face - the question of male independence in our evolving society.

A quote attributed to Sudha Murty recently caught my attention: "A working husband comes home to a cooked meal; a working wife comes home to cook the meal. The problem isn't that women are now independent; it is that men aren't."

As an unmarried woman (yes, I know, I’m not in the best position to talk about this - after
all, some think marriage is the gateway to heaven), I still feel compelled to address this
issue.

I may not have lived the experience, but I have seen enough through the lives of close friends, colleagues, and family to understand the ordeal corporate women face in balancing work, family, and societal expectations.

The narrative of women breaking glass ceilings and becoming more economically independent is widely celebrated, and rightly so.

However, the conversation often ends there. We cheer for women's empowerment, but how often do we ask: What about the men? This question is one I have raised before in a previous article (https://www.myjoyonline.com/international-day-of-the-girl-child-what-about-theboys/), and the more I observe, the more I realize that the empowerment of women must come with a parallel movement - the empowerment of men to be independent.

Society’s expectations of women have evolved significantly. Women now contribute equally - sometimes more - to household incomes, yet they still bear the brunt of domestic responsibilities.

Meanwhile, some men continue to cling to the comforts of traditional roles, expecting the same level of care they received from their mothers or housewives, despite sharing the same workload as their partners.

This paradox of men being dependent on independent women is one we must confront head-on.
Beyond household responsibilities, corporate women face multiple challenges that their
male counterparts often do not.

Many working women are expected to be superwomen, excelling at work while ensuring the home remains intact. Promotions and leadership opportunities often come with unspoken biases: "Will she be able to handle it with her family duties?"

Women frequently work twice as hard to prove they belong in boardrooms, only to return home to another full-time job as caregivers, cooks, and primary nurturers.

Some struggle with workplace sexism, where their competence is questioned simply because they are women. Others experience the “mom penalty,” where career growth stagnates once they become mothers, while their male counterparts with families continue to rise effortlessly.

Maternity leave, a necessary

policy for working mothers, is sometimes seen as a burden by employers, while paternity
leave remains an afterthought in many institutions. This further reinforces the idea that care-giving is a woman's duty.

Recent headlines have reignited this conversation and my thoughts. Ghanaian actress Martha Ankomah recently sued Kumawood actor Kwadwo Nkansah, popularly known as LilWin, for suggesting that she could only acquire property through the help of men.

What was more disheartening than the claim itself was the chorus of support from online commentators, many of whom reinforced the idea that women cannot thrive without male benefactors.

Such narratives perpetuate the idea that women's achievements are tied to men's benevolence, rather than their own merit. But the bigger question remains -if women are increasingly becoming independent, why are some men still trapped in cycles of dependency?

The empowerment of women has inadvertently exposed a gaping hole in the conversation about gender roles - the need to empower men to be truly independent. Independence goes beyond economic self-sufficiency.

It includes emotional intelligence, domestic competence, and the ability to contribute equally to the
household without viewing chores as 'helping' their partners.

From an early age, boys should be taught how to cook, clean, and take care of their personal spaces. These are not "women’s duties;" they are essential life skills.

Discussions about household roles should be based on fairness, not tradition. Organizations should encourage paternity leave and flexible work schedules for fathers just as they do for mothers. If men are to be equal partners at home, they must have the structural support to do so.

The burden of 'double shifts': working full-time jobs and coming home to manage the
household remains a heavy yoke on many corporate women.

What message are we sending when we encourage girls to break barriers without equipping boys to walk
alongside them in the new social order? It's time to reimagine the narrative. Men must be active participants in the home, not just bystanders waiting to be served.

We must begin intentional conversations on nurturing independence in boys from an early age, teaching them that cooking, cleaning, and care-giving are life skills, not gendered duties.

Empowering women must not create a generation of dependent men. True gender equality means both men and women are equipped to thrive independently and collaboratively.

As we continue to champion women's empowerment, let’s not forget to ask: Are we raising independent men?

The future is not only female - it is equitable. And that requires the liberation of both genders from outdated expectations.