Setting up a few scenario options for you here: You’ve been dating someone for a long time and feel like you’ve done all the things together already. You’ve been on a date-night spending spree with a new Tinder person, and your bank account is begging for relief. Or it’s winter and you live in the Northeast and just don’t want to go outside. May I suggest...taking personality tests together!
Seriously, most personality tests that can be found online are free or affordable, you can do them pretty much anywhere, and obviously, they bring you and your partner way closer (unless, of course, one of you has some monstrous thing to admit, in which case, get ready for bombs to be dropped).
Here are some awesome personality tests to try the next time you’re all “Um, what should we do today/tonight?”
1. If you want to start with a classic: 16Personalities
This beautifully designed Myers-Briggs test not only tells you your personality in detail but taking it together helps you see how similar (or different) you and bae really are. It also helps that all the outcomes are put into four different groups, so you can feel good if you land in the same one. Or if you’re single, you can pop your answer into your Bumble bio and see who bites.
2. If you’re dying to know how good you are together: Nanaya
Developed by a literal (former NASA) rocket scientist, Rashied Amini, the free version of this quiz follows a similar structure to Myers-Briggs but goes deeper into things like your approach to singledom, what romantic relationship types work best for you, and even which locations statistically have the most compatible people for you (by taking into account your individual career and life goals). If you’re really ready for the truth, it can also tell you whether you should break up or not.
3. If you’d like to immediately improve your relationship: The 5 Love Languages
Based on the best-selling book by Gary Chapman, this quiz does require you to sign up, but trust, it is SO worth it. Knowing how you each prefer to receive and express love (instead of assuming everyone wants hugs or surprise gifts) legit helps you make each other happier. And it’s fun to playfully debate why “quality time” is so much better than “words of affirmation.”
4. If you really want to know them: FiveThirtyEight’s Personality Quiz
This test claims that most personality quizzes are “junk science” and its results are better (OUCH to everyone else on this list). You get ranked on things like your openness to new experiences, conscientiousness, emotions, agreeableness, and extroversion. Take it for yourself, and decide if it’s worth the hype!
5. If you’re looking for a perfect bar date idea: 36 Questions on the Way to Love
Ah yes, who could forget the iconic 2015 New York Times essay about a set of questions so vulnerable—and at the same time, so approachable—that it can potentially make falling in love happen faster? Even if you don’t become life partners after doing this, it’s still a really fascinating way to get to know someone and super easy to pull up on your phone at a bar. Do it on a first date if you’re both unafraid of being hella open right off the bat!
6. If you want a quick temperature check on your relationship: The Gottman Institute’s Relationship Quiz
John and Julie Gottman, PhDs, have been researching romantic relationships for more than 40 years and claim to be able to predict if a couple will break up or divorce with more than 90 percent accuracy. So if you want to check in on whether your relationship’s still in a good place, this quiz is a good place to start! (Also the website has tons of resources too.) Another option: Check out their latest book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, which runs down eight different topics—ranging from sex to trust, money, and conflict—that you can talk through on date night to grow closer to each other.
7. If you’re itching to get realer about your sex lives: We Should Try It!
If you’ve had things you’ve wanted to try in bed (or even just smaller preferences), this is a great way to talk about them. Each person fills out the in-depth questionnaire, and you only see the things you both agreed on. And if you want a faster experience, there’s also an app for that.
8. If you want to know each other’s kinks in a safe space: The XConfessions App
Similar to We Should Try It!, feminist adult-film director Erika Lust’s app is basically Tinder for sexual acts, although this specifically focuses more on kinks and fantasies. And again, you only see what you both swiped right on.
9. If you’re tired of all that reading: The VisualDNA “Who Am I?” Quiz
This one is fun because it’s all visual and especially easy to follow your gut on. But the results are super detailed and eerily accurate!
10. If you want to truly trip yourselves out: Kokology
You know how sometimes you pick an answer you feel you should pick, because you’re afraid of the results? You can’t do that here. All these questions ask you to think of something vague (like a cube in a desert) and how you imagine it reveals who you truly are. Prepare to be SHOOK by how real the results are.
11. If you’re planning a Friday night in: Our Moments
While using conversation starters with a romantic partner can, in theory, feel like you’re both in desperate need of things to talk about, these questions skip the small talk and dive right into topics even the closest couples maybe never broached before. It beats rewatching Friends again, that’s for sure.
12. If you want to get flirty: TALK FLIRT DARE
Another set of flashcards you can take anywhere (long road trips recommended), except these take on a more actively flirty, sexy vibe. Seriously, have whoever’s riding shotgun read these out loud and you’ll be making out by the time you get to the hotel.
13. If you’re both addicted to astrology: The Pattern App
Whether your partner already knows their moon sign or is at least willing to ask their mom for their birth time, this app tells you everything you need to know about your astrological personalities (and how well they mesh together). Yeah, yeah, it’s not technically a *quiz*, but you still learn something new!
14. If you want to memorize each other’s birth charts: Co–Star App
If you want an even deeper analysis on your planetary alignments and WHY you clash where you do, check this app out.
15. If you’re both die-hard Harry Potter nerds: Pottermore Quizzes
Hey, retaking the Patronus or Sorting Hat tests never get old, especially when you have your favourite muggle by your side.
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