How many social media groups do you belong to? Quite a few, I would imagine. For the moment I have limited myself to groups on WhatsApp, and my comments are therefore based on that alone.

I’ve always felt that there is a whole different dynamic when people join a social media platform. And I don’t think we quite understand it yet. Of course, there are all types of groups, based on academic year groups, careers, hobbies, projects, sports, teams, and so on. So, I really shouldn’t generalise all my thoughts about groups. But I will.

If all groups had rules and regulations, even flexible ones, and they were followed, a lot of these issues wouldn't occur. But, we are human aren't we (most of us anyway), and we just love to break rules.

But surely, we must realise that typing messages is vastly different from chatting with someone on the phone, as it is different from chatting with someone face-to-face. And therefore, why should we be surprised when behaviour, reactions, and comments, are not what we expected?

A small extreme example: have you ever left a group and no one noticed? How does that make you feel? Invisible? Yep. As in you might as well be invisible. No one contacted you to find out why you left. No one even made a comment on the platform (you are reliably informed by seemingly your only friend on the platform).

And of course in any messaging app there is always the problem of misinterpretation. There are some who actually read out what they are typing, and it sounds good to them. But the person (or people) reading your message doesn’t have the benefit of your presence and your voice and your face. So what happens? They read it in their own voice, in their head. And there’s no way it’s going to sound the same as the writer intended it.

Which mean there’s always a chance of someone taking something the wrong way. They might feel offended, insulted, antagonised, humiliated, or even verbally assaulted. When all the person sending the message meant was a joke! And you know people can respond immediately…by leaving the platform.

The one thing about social media groups that gets to me is people who attempt to say thank you to everyone individually who, for example, wished them happy birthday, or offered condolences. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you need to be sure that you get everyone. It’s quite easy to miss a name because you just didn’t see it. And then that person you missed sees everyone else being thanked, except them, only them. What happens? They leave the platform!

Have you ever been on a platform where certain people begin to indulge in private chats or arguments in full view of everyone? Sometimes in arguments that get extremely ‘loud’ and rude? Sometimes no one understands what they are talking about, or even wants to know what they are talking about. Yet, they persist. Then the administrator of the group might give a friendly warning and it is ignored. It happens again and again, and then they are removed from the group. What happens? They meet you in society somewhere and ignore you, in high dudgeon.

Just as irritating are people who don’t pay attention. An announcement is made, explained, and then repeated later. And some toonoo asks what it’s all about, and demands an explanation. Or in another example, a death is announced, accompanied by a photograph. A day or two later when someone extends their sympathy, another toonoo asks for a picture of the deceased.

And of course groups are a wonderful way to spread misinformation or fake news. With one forward of the item in question you reach everybody on the platform. And then they start to forward the fake news to other platforms. And on it goes, ad nauseum.

What about leaving a group? You could do it the nice way and let an Administrator know in advance. Or maybe by telling the person who invited you onto the group. But if a person is leaving a group then it is possible it’s for ‘hostile’ reasons. In that case expect either a silent unannounced withdrawal, or a rant, followed by a departure. Maybe even an insult or two.

I have left groups where I informed the person who invited me, and I have left groups unannounced. I have no regrets in both cases. One should not be where one is either unwelcome or unhappy. And sometimes one should leave because they simply belong to too many groups.

There is an alternative though: muting or silencing prompts from that particular group. And it works! You simply don’t get the irritation of looking at your phone and seeing text alerts from people you don’t like anymore, or don't want to be around!

Silent members. Is this a good or a bad thing? Is it acceptable to be part of a group and NEVER say a word? I don’t have an answer….let me keep my peace and be silent.