Counselling Psychologist and ADR Practitioner, Counsellor Perfect, has stressed that family pressure before marriage should be treated as a mental health issue, not dismissed as disloyalty or pride.

Speaking on Joy Prime’s Let’s Talk, on Tuesday, April 14, she explained that the people couples often turn to for solutions can become the source of stress, leaving young marriages emotionally bankrupt before they even begin.

“Self-preservation is not selfishness,” she said firmly.

She argued that recognising the issue as one of boundaries is the first step toward protecting new marriages, noting that many couples suffer in silence because families and partners mistake self-protection for rebellion.

Counsellor Perfect warned that without clear limits and enforcement, resentment is inevitable.

“You cannot build a healthy home while you’re bleeding emotionally to keep an old family system happy,” she noted.

She added that while boundaries are crucial, they must also be practical, pointing out that one area where couples often clash is access.

“You should love your family, but you should have clear boundaries. If you don’t respect certain limits, my boundaries, I may not even allow you into my space because your mental health is important,” she advised.

In her view, access to you is not a birthright; it is a privilege that depends on respect.

She explained that “love without limits becomes obligation, and obligation without consent becomes resentment,” stressing that emotional independence must come first.

Counsellor Perfect was against the idea that adulthood alone equals readiness for marriage. Maturity, she said, is not optional or a character trait, but it is a requirement.

She added that the ability to make decisions independently, without parental sign-off on issues such as finances, jobs, or housing, gives marriages the best chance to survive.

“As a grown man or woman, you need to take certain decisions by yourself,” she stressed.

Her comments come amid growing conversations about mental health and family dynamics in Ghana. Her message is that awareness, boundaries, and maturity can help save couples from early burnout, and that partners have a direct role in creating space for that protection.

She also dismissed the belief that children are retirement plans.

“The child never asked you to give birth to them, so you need to take care of them,” she said, adding that turning parenting into a debt traps adult children between guilt and survival.

On partner selection, Counsellor Perfect was blunt: “Marry with wisdom.”

She explained that romance often fades under unspoken family burdens, and that a spouse must be willing to carry those burdens with you, not just celebrate the wedding.

“We need to stop labelling self-preservation as selfishness and start treating it as mental health,” she stressed.