When I look around and analyze the problems I have encountered in the lives of hundreds of women in counseling over the years, I notice that the modern woman is, in a large measure, challenged by sexuality in the sense of: 1) receiving and offering the right teaching about her sexuality, 2) freely giving and receiving the provisions of her sexual endowments for her maximum fulfillment, 3) obtaining all of her sexual God-designed blessings, 4) fighting sexual abuses, and sifting between the sexual gold and the unhealthy junk of sexual bombardments in the media, 5) maintaining sexual fidelity in her marriage without yielding to the tendencies of vengeance or manipulation, 6) resisting the temptations of using her sexuality as a weapon, punishment, mere reward, or tool for exploitation, 7) dealing with destructive or unenlightened sexual concepts and practices of her present culture, 8) keeping her sexual purity, especially as a young lady or single woman, 9) understanding and optimizing the tremendous power and fruitfulness of her sexuality, especially in her marriage, and 10) having all the wisdom to be a good manager of her gift of sexuality, and channeling it in the right direction for the best productivity. ,b>WOMEN ARE THE ACTUAL SEXUAL BEINGS If we would sincerely admit, when it comes to sexuality, women are the real sexual beings. To some people I know that I am making a “mysterious” statement, which might even be considered “unacceptable” to the highest degree by someone who is reading, but would not wait for me to explain myself. I can imagine some people asking: “What do you mean? Are you serious?” Yes, I mean just what I said, and I am dead serious. A woman was created by God and given the breast plus her special reproductive organs, and a uniquely attractive body for a man to engage in sexual activity with her in a marriage setting in order to love her very deeply, bond sexually with her, and be the lover, provider, and protector for her. We do not discount the fact that many women have their special financial and other material contributions to the marriage and family as well. The special romantic and sexual love for the woman enables her to perform her God-ordained function of being the special helper for man (Genesis 2:18). No matter how we try contort this original idea by God the Creator of marriage and complicate human sexuality by having all kinds of unions and associations plus invented means of human sexual activity that only serve to defy God’s plans, and rather enjoy rebellion and depravity in the name of false freedom, we know very well in our consciences that any upright person thinks more of the reproductive components of a woman than a man when sex is mentioned. For example, a naked man is not the same as a naked woman to the eyes and minds of observers. Except in very few instances (and the population in the world for this category is very small), a naked woman invokes the idea of sex more than a naked man. Wow! This is a subject for further discussion. I am putting out cogent ideas for debate and acceptance of the ultimate truth when all the facts have been considered. Simply stated, the romantic attractiveness, exclusive nature of the organs, intricacies and sacredness of the processes, and the ultimate enjoyment of sex, primarily surrounds women. One of the challenges for the 21st century woman is the ability and wisdom to manage her sexuality and deal with all the complexities and problems associated with modern sexuality. I am not implying that all women have not been able to manage all of their sexuality in the past, but I am simply saying that too many mixtures of sexual advertisements, products, exposures, supposed methods of sexual enjoyment, sexual marketing, sex toys, sexual misunderstanding, sexual misuse, and sexual abuse, are bombarding the modern young as well as old women left and right, and making it tougher for them to deal with their sexuality as a whole. The higher rate of sexual immorality, marital infidelity, and the sexual exploitation of women as sex slaves or sexually abused and misused female partners in our time, are unimaginable and too complex to deal with. Tough Times Have Negatively Impacted Sexuality in Women The present tough global economic situation has encouraged the outrageous exploitation of the sexuality of women by both men and women for personal gains. Women who use sexual seduction to ‘steal’ the husbands of other women are now doing so with impunity, and are ferociously going on sexual rampage in communities everywhere. There is less respect for the sexuality of women due to the filthy exposure of indecent and immoral images, Internet and magazine pornography, increased prostitution by young girls and women, pornographic movies, use of vulgar sexual language by both young and old, and indecent dressing of women. GOD’S PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR SEX God created sex as a very strong, physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental means by which you and I can express and bond to the opposite sex in a permanent union called marriage. The sex passion is the strongest in the human body, and can therefore do the greatest damage to our bodies and relationships as well, if it spins out of control. We have to understand that every human being is actually made up of three primary components --- body, soul, and spirit. Most people do not know, understand, or consider that when you have sex with someone, your spirits actually enter into each other and engage in intense interactions that create a soul tie between the two people. At the end of the act, each of you leaves some part of you in the other person. It is quite difficult to understand and believe this, but I suppose when we die and become spirits outside of this physical body, we will gain better insight (but then it will be too late to return and make any amends or improve upon or sexual lifestyles). God designed sex to be complex and spiritually-oriented the way it is, in order for it to be used to form a spiritually exclusive bond between one man and one woman in a holy, sacred institution of marriage. That is why fornication and adultery are terrible acts of lust and disobedience that defile and destroy the body, mind, soul, and spirit of the perpetrators. This is because you force an alien bond that tremendously damages the real bond in your marriage, or disrupts the bond when the time comes to bond properly and legally with your legally accepted and appropriately chosen mate. It is like sticking an adhesive tape carelessly to different places and removing them thoughtlessly until its capacity to bond is so reduced that when you now need to use it properly for its intended target and purpose, it is unable to bond well or cannot even bond at all. God says that out of all the sins that we commit, sexual sins stick the most to our bodies and souls, and do the maximum damage through the creation of soul ties. “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). SEXUAL EXPLOITATION AND ABUSE The misuse of our sexual desires and instincts (including pornography on the Internet and in magazines) is a major contributing factor that has caused the failed marriages, dysfunctional families, and frivolous carnal minds that plague society today. Too many people are marrying and romancing images and fantasies of other men and women in their minds and hearts instead of focusing on and enjoying their real spouses and partners. This is a major cause of dissatisfaction, weak bonds, disunity, mistreatment, uncaring and hardened hearts, lack of focus, disagreements, sexual un-fulfillment, separations, wasteful spending, dysfunctional families, and ultimate divorce for many marriages. In my opinion sex was meant to make us more loving, romantic, tender, compassionate, and caring towards the one we have sex with. Sex should make us accept our spouse more and become content with him or her. That is why both parties must have the same best attitude towards sex, and play their part equally well in the process. If all these do not happen, then we have misunderstood and misused our gift of sex. There are many people (especially men) who are very sexy but very unromantic! Several women are very traditional, legalistically bound by their outmoded culture, or too sanctimonious to express any love and affection. But the statistics I have obtained after counseling thousands of people across nations, clearly indicates that men are more unromantic in the arena of verbal and bodily expressions of love and affection, than women. They jump on their wives like an airplane making an emergency landing at a remote airport on a very cloudy day when the runway cannot be seen, without any real expression of love and tender affection towards the person they are having sex with. Their selfishness does not make them consider the welfare and satisfaction of their mate even for a minute! As a matter of fact they often leave the woman bruised, hurt, and unfulfilled ---- sometimes even angered. Pitiable wives have shared distressing stories of husbands who now try on their wives, all the sexual enhancement drugs on the market plus the exotic styles they have fed their minds with at pornographic websites, and in videos, movies, DVD’s, and magazines, and make the poor ladies guinea pigs in experiments of rough and selfish sex that satisfies only the man. Several of them lament as to how they sometimes even cry in bed with hot tears streaming down their faces, while the men simply bulldoze on inconsiderately. Some of the women also do not help the men at all, and simply refuse or neglect to be flexible and romantically participate to make the whole process meaningful and satisfying for their intimate relationship. I know that it is not easy to talk about these matters publicly, but society is tragically suffering in homes and families behind the scenes, but these matters must be properly addressed by churches, fellowships, communities, organizations, schools, workplaces, and even governments, and in media discussions. This will enable us to know the dangers involved, and offer the teaching necessary for us to know how to handle our sexuality decently, appropriately, and productively. Sometimes some of the leaders in our churches, corporations, institutions, governments, families, and society, especially parents, who should address these issues are themselves struggling to keep their heads above water in their own bedrooms and marriage affairs! Lord, please help us! Obtain more information from Dr. Kisseadoo’s book “Challenges of Modern Men And Women In Relationships”, plus other books online from: RedLeadBooks.com by searching with his name. Tune in to JOY 99.7 FM in Accra, Ghana on Saturdays at 5:30 am – 6:00 am (Ghana Time) or US Eastern ST 1:30 am – 2:00 am, and listen to Dr. Kisseadoo's broadcast "Hope For Your Family". Access on the Internet using MYJOYONLINE.COM, and click on “Radio”. Contact him in the USA (1-757-7289330) or Fruitful Ministries in Ghana on 233-208126533, for copies of his books, free counseling and prayer. Visit his website: www.fruitfulministriesint.com for essentials that will enrich your life, relationships, and ministry. Use DrSamuel Kisseadoo or RevDr. Kisseadoo or FM Int. Inc. to access his Wall on Facebook. Copyright Juune 2013 Rev. Dr. Samuel A. Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, USA, International Evangelist. Ordained & Licensed Minister, Teacher, Conference Speaker). Founder and President, Fruitful Ministries International Inc. (Evangelistic & Teaching Ministry). 6 Red Robin Turn, Hampton, Virginia 23669, USA. Tel.1- 757-7289330 E-mail: kisseadoo@msn.com

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