So this is how our third full week of 2016 went:
It started off with carnage in Ouagadougou as Al Quaeda in Maghreb took credit for a devastating terror attack at the Splendid Hotel. The siege claimed 28 lives, and injured 56.
French special forces joined local troops to infiltrate the hotel and end the siege, killing at least four of the attackers in the process. Our hearts went out to the families of the innocent victims as we commiserated with our northerly neighbours.
Our neighbours.
Al Quaeda has attacked our neighbours.
Come to think of it, there's not much of a border between us and Burkina Faso. There are three official entry points and dozens of unmanned, unofficial ones. Not a lot to impede entry into Ghana by any undesirable type seeking to make trouble. But then again, why would any undesirable type wish to make trouble in Ghana? It's not like we've ever done anything to upset terrorists anywhere, is it? It's not like we've held any terror suspects within our borders, preventing them from leaving for two years or anything, is it? So why worry?
Also this week, el Presidente subjected his ministers to another deadly game of Musical Chairs, and when the music stopped, Mark Woyongo was left without a chair. The former Interior Minister was reassigned to the Presidency as a Minister Without Portfolio, which means he keeps his salary, but need not work for it, necessarily. Former Chief of Staff, Prosper Bani replaces him at the Interior Ministry. It's not clear yet whether the President made this decision because he needed a new Interior Minister, or because he needed one more Minister Without Portfolio at Flagstaff House. What's your guess?
Also this week, Investigative Journalist, KweteyNartey, brought us disturbing news from the DVLA. Basically, last year, someone at the DVLA decided it would be a good idea to abandon 40 million cedis worth of Roadworthy Stickers and introduce brand new electronic stickers instead. The original plan was to slowly phase out the old manual ones while gradually introducing the electronic ones into the system, so those manual stickers they had already printed would not go to waste. But the geniuses in charge of spending our money at the DVLA had two good reasons for wasting 40 million cedis: 1) The electronic stickers were making them more profit. And 2) The electronic stickers cannot be forged.
As it turned out, their second reason was soon proved wrong, as Kwetey found a Goro Boy who forged him a functioning electronic sticker with the help of an insider.
Now, yesterday, we interviewed the nation’s top cop, IGP John Kudalor. It was quite a revealing conversation, as he outlined his plans for superintending over the 2016 elections. We also talked about a few cold cases, and learnt a couple of interesting things about licence-seizing and roadworthy sticker-checkers. We will bring you the highlights of that conversation one more time today. Fascinating stuff.
So that’s it. Quite a week. And we’re crowning it with quite a show today. Stay tuned for the full thing. Don’t miss a moment.
My name is Kojo Yankson, and it’s been a week of Splendid substitutions, stickers and supercops.
GOOD MORNING, GHANAFO!
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