Overview Asking your husband to lose weight can be a tricky matter. It is a sensitive, personal issue that will get better results if it is handled properly. There's a good chance his is already aware that you would like him to lose weight, but coming right out and asking him to do it might make him defensive. It also might be the thing that finally convinces him to change his lifestyle. Step 1 Ask the question at the appropriate time. Consider all your options, and choose your timing carefully. You might need to have a plan in place for popping the question, or you might need to be spontaneous when you instinctively know that the time is right. Step 2 Express your love for him. Tell him how much you love him and how you would feel if he were to get sick or die as a result of being overweight. Perhaps you need to let him know you will no longer enable the behavior that has caused his weight gain. Step 3 Ask him if he is ready to make a commitment to losing weight. If he is not ready, there's not much you can do. He has to be ready to change and really want to change. You can't do it for him, and pushing him if he's not ready will only seem like nagging to him. Let the conversation bring you closer. Stay calm. Threatening or withholding affection or intimacy will likely backfire. Step 4 Listen and try to understand what's stopping him. Lend a patient ear, and try to peel back the layers and get to the root of the problem. Use rewards and positive reinforcement rather than criticism. Step 5 Lead by example. No matter whether he is ready to lose weight, you can set a healthy example for him to follow or merely observe. Walking the walk says a lot more than just talking the talk. Don't watch every move he makes. If you're too attentive, he might feel like he's in a fishbowl, which isn't helpful. Tips and Warnings • Remember, you can't change him if he doesn't want to change. Respect the fact that his timing and yours might not match up, and nothing you do will change that. • When all else fails, if his health is in imminent danger, it might be time for some tough love or third-party intervention. His friends, family or health-care provider might need to join you in asking him to lose weight.