Audio By Carbonatix
If you are single and you feel that you keep attracting the wrong people into your life, then you might want to read on to find a few nuggets that could help you find the right suitor.
Discussing the topic, 'Why Do I Keep Attracting The Wrong People?' on Home Affairs hosted by Edem Knight-Tay on JoyFM on Saturdays, three family life counsellors agreed that to avoid choosing the wrong lovers, it's always best to ask the hard questions before falling in love.
When you meet a potential suitor, define the relationship from the onset!
Phoebe Gbesemete, the first of the three who spoke, said a person must do a self-assessment and define what they are seeking to find in their ideal partner before they go into a relationship.
"Look at the person as objectively as possible and weigh them against the person you are actually looking at being with."
She added that ladies must avoid just looking at only the superficial characteristics of prospective suitors and rather pay attention to their values, well-being, and what they really want to do with their lives and start taking a more investigative approach when they meet the men they like.
Relationship Enthusiast, Kobina Ata-Bedu also believes that understanding who you are as a person, what you believe in, and what your value systems are, has a way of affecting who you yoke with.
"If you know you hate lies and the person is a habitual liar, it won't work," he cited an example.
"Knowing your temperament will also determine who you choose," Mr. Ata-Bedu stated.
"And for those who have a low perception of themselves, they normally would like to choose people who'll give them validation," he chipped in.
Rev. Kofi Boateng, who is also a lawyer, simplified everything and said people attract what they project.
"So if you project something that you're not, for example, your finances and physical appearances, you're likely to attract the wrong people and when they eventually find out who you really are, they are likely to leave you or you'll leave them."
Below are nuggets to help you find the right suitor.
- Expand your network.
- To fish out people putting up false appearances, get to know them, their families, background, and community.
- Be patient, get to know people. Don't rush into relationships. Only time will reveal the true intentions of the people you meet.
- Set boundaries
- If you find someone you are seriously considering, get a trusted relative to investigate the family background of that potential suitor.
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