The weirdest thing happened a few months ago: I realized that I no longer wanted him anymore. I know myself very well; I know that when I love someone, then that’s it.

They’ve got my heart and it’s almost impossible to make me “un-love” them. Similarly, like a lot of other women, it usually takes me a long time to really let go of someone and move on.

What is so different this time around? I love myself way too much. I love myself enough to know not to chase someone who doesn’t love me enough. As cliché as it sounds, if someone is supposed to be in your life, then they will be. Realizing I deserve someone who will fight tooth and nail to be in my life and keep me in his has to be the most enlightening feeling.

Just like other people, I thought that the longevity of a relationship would affect the amount of time it took to heal over a failed relationship. 

Here’s the trick, you only heal as fast as you want to. If you want to wait and just let the memories fade over time and let the situation eventually become something of the past, then you do you. 

But, if you want the pain to stop and you want to free yourself of the torture, then the sooner you learn to love yourself, the sooner that will happen.

By all means, it’s a wonderful thing to love someone more than you love yourself. However, not if this means losing the person you are and hope to be.

If someone is weak enough to walk away, then you must be strong enough to let him or her go.

Odds are, they don’t deserve to be in your life anyway. It’s absolutely cheesy, but think about it: if the person you love decides to leave, then in the end, it’s you who has won.

They lost someone who loved them, you lost someone who clearly didn’t love or care enough for you. They lose and you win.

The sooner you realize how much you love yourself, then the easier it will be to leave the past where it belongs. The day I realized I love myself more than my disappointment for my failed relationship was the day I truly moved on.

Why? Because I know what I deserve, which is what every individual deserves: unconditional love that never dies, no matter what the circumstances are or how difficult life seems to get.

All of that time and effort you put into that person was definitely not a waste. Now you know how capable you are of loving someone, so just imagine how much more amazing it will be with the right person.

With the person who deserves you.

Recently someone showed me exactly what I deserve from a partner. As amazing as it is to stay and fight for love, there will always be someone else who can and will love you.

After enduring the brutal heartbreak, I know now that I should never settle again. In life, you sometimes have no choice but to settle and go along with the cards you’ve been dealt.

Not with love.

But, I absolutely refuse to settle for a mediocre love and you shouldn’t either. Love yourself enough to know you deserve a toe curling, make your palms sweat, sweep you off your feet kind of love.

- Sutharsy Sivabalan