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Gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Padi Ayertey has urged couples to take complaints of pain during sexual intercourse seriously, describing the condition as both a physical and psychological issue that can significantly affect intimate relationships if left unaddressed.
Speaking on Joy FM's Home Affairs during a discussion on mental health care, Dr Ayertey explained that painful sex is a real and common concern that can develop into a recurring cycle of discomfort, anxiety, and avoidance, ultimately worsening the condition over time.
He noted that previous painful experiences during intercourse can strongly influence a person’s expectations and emotional response during future attempts, creating a psychological barrier that affects physical arousal and comfort.
“It’s a real thing. If you have had sex and it was painful, the next time an attempt is made, you are already thinking about the pain you experienced last time,” he said.
According to him, this anticipation of pain has a direct impact on the body’s natural physiological response, particularly lubrication and muscle relaxation, which are essential for comfortable intercourse.
“When that happens, you don’t produce natural lubrication because you are thinking about the pain and not the possible enjoyment,” he explained.
Dr Ayertey further elaborated that anxiety and fear associated with prior discomfort can lead to involuntary tightening of pelvic muscles. This tension, he said, makes penetration more difficult and increases the likelihood of further pain, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.
He added that communication between partners also plays a critical role in either alleviating or worsening the situation.
Misunderstandings, impatience, or harsh words during intimacy, he said, can heighten emotional stress and further reduce lubrication, making the experience even more uncomfortable.
Dr Ayertey explained that in many cases, the problem is not necessarily severe or incurable, and simple interventions can significantly improve the situation. These include the use of lubricants and allowing sufficient time for foreplay.
“Some people just need very good lubricants. Some people need extended foreplay, and I can’t emphasise that enough,” he said.
He stressed that adequate foreplay is essential for helping the woman relax physically and emotionally, which in turn supports natural lubrication and improves comfort during intercourse.
According to him, when a woman is relaxed and anticipates a positive experience, her body responds more naturally and positively.
“With enough foreplay, most women would relax, and if the woman is looking forward to what is going to be the activity, she is going to be relaxed and lubricated as well,” he explained.
Dr Ayertey further emphasised that both partners share responsibility in ensuring comfort and readiness, noting that preparation and attentiveness are key to a healthy sexual experience.
“Those portions are the man’s responsibility, and he has to make sure that she is well prepared to accommodate him,” he stated.
He added that when proper care is taken, the experience is more likely to be mutually satisfying. However, he strongly cautioned that persistent pain should never be normalised or ignored.
“If she says she is having pain, we need to look for the cause of the pain and deal with it,” he said, urging couples to seek medical advice where necessary.
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