Counselling psychologist and ADR practitioner Counsellor Perfect has offered practical guidance on rekindling lost passion and sexual desire in marriages.

She shared the insights during yesterday’s episode of Let’s Talk on Joy Prime, where she urged couples to revisit the traits and moments that initially sparked their attraction.

According to her, physical features such as a partner’s build or smile, along with mannerisms and intelligent conversations from the early days, can reignite interest when couples refocus on them. Recreating shy dating experiences, including long talks in parked cars or accepting small gestures like shared drinks, can help restore that spark, especially by arranging child free time with relatives for sleepovers.

“The first one is you need to go back to the basics. What attracted you to your partner? Start doing it. Nothing will happen to the children if you leave them. Go to an Auntie for a sleepover so you can have time for yourselves,” she added.

Counsellor Perfect urged wives to explore and fulfil their husband’s fantasies through role play, such as dressing differently, imitating others or acting as a nurse or teacher to build attachment. Special bedroom activities with candles, blindfolds, card games or board games dictated by dice rolls add variety and create lasting memories even into old age.

She further advised couples to attend events like Let’s Talk’s Valentine Day event, saying it exposes them to new people and perspectives, inspiring fresh ideas to try at home. Changing locations, preparing unique recipes and enjoying intimate moments like watching films together can shift routines and raise energy in the relationship.

Counsellor Perfect also admonished husbands to actively participate in restoring passion, rather than leaving the effort solely to their wives. She stressed that men must step up with verbal affirmations, noting that many avoid talking but should still offer compliments after intimacy to show appreciation. “Most men dont talk, but at least when you finish, give some compliments. That kiss on the forehead after intimacy. Its nice that back hug and all that,” she said.

Gestures like these go a long way in making wives feel valued, as small acts can counter the tendency to express love only through actions. Both partners need to bring their best to sustain desire, she emphasised.