There is a type of pepper that the people of Ga call “akweley waabi’. It is very long and hot. Please don’t misconstrue the use of the word ‘long and hot’. I mean the ones they use to accompany the proper Ga kenkey. Ehernnnn, that one.

I grew up later and got to know its English name is ‘chili pepper’. It can be really hot but not really spicy like ‘kpakpo shitor’. As for that kpakpo shitor, I still don’t know the English name.

Environmentally, ‘Akweley waabi’ is hot inside out! But no matter how hot ‘akweley waabi’ is er, worms manage to survive in those going bad to make a living out of it. They just don’t care about the environment; all the worms care about is how to survive in there. Unlike me and you who cannot survive pepper soup with too much pepper.

You remember just before Alex’s wedding some 12 years ago, he invited most of us to come and eat but had a small budget.

He killed a small goat, the size of a village teddy bear and looking at things, the meat would not be enough to cover the invitees. So he asked the caterers to add excessive ‘akweley waabi’ such that after taking one piece of meat, you would be compelled to drink water saaaaaa till you quench the ‘pepper fire’. End of story! That was on the eve of the wedding.

On the day of the wedding, most of us couldn’t attend because the excessive pepper from the previous night’s experience purged us. That was a strategy to ensure that those who would come to the wedding reception itself would be few so the ‘budget meal’ would be enough. Papa Asconna, I greet you oo. Hahahahaaa! Ei, it’s been a long time since I saw Opell Asconna in town o, or?

So what do I really want to deceive you with today? Okay I have a lie lie idea. Let’s go oo! Hahahaha! Happy yourself o! So long as Jesus is yet to come, life is going to be full of ups and downs. When up, be happy; when down, be happy!

 Abena started narrating to me how her last relationship failed. Charlie, some men are wicked o. Her ex never had time for her except for his family only. He closes from work late. He would not pick up calls after 10 pm just because of that his wife.

What annoyed her most about him was the fact that when he gives her 500 Ghana every weekend and the following week she complains that her phone is acting up and needs a new phone, he would tell her she is also working so she should also buy her own phone.  Kofi was lovely to her but didn’t treat her well at all; that is what made Abena break up with Kofi.

When she was sharing all of her ‘historical predicaments’ with me, I was empathizing with her but deep within me, I was laughing inside my heart because I knew I was not going to be any better than her ex, Kofi. I got home that night and couldn’t help laughing. Be careful who pretends to be sympathizing or empathizing with you; they have their interests.

Ei, Auntie! Every weekend, 500 Ghana given to you by Kofi and because of that? Hmmm! I think Kofi was better than me o because Abena was going to struggle to get 200 Ghana sef from me in a month and here she was talking about 500 per week and cracked eye phone. Hehehehe! Men?

Sometimes when some women complain to us about their previous relationships and how bad such relationships hit the rocks, we know deep down in our hearts that we would be worse; it is only a matter of time. The reverse is also true. Men who lie to ladies about how their previous relationships went bad. Azaan nkoaaa!

That is the time when some ladies would say ‘all men are the same’. It is not true o; some of us are worse than some exes.

Now let me ask o; when people go for conferences and seminars and listen to the facilitators or presenters what do they expect? You are being taught what is on the screen and often you see people screaming: “Sir, please can we have the slides after the session?’.

Many times the question I ask myself is ‘for what’? They ask as if they are going to read the slides if sent to them. Read for where? Hehehehe! Who has that time? Abeg, just pay attention and listen to the resource persons carefully and contribute if you have to and stop deceiving yourself by asking for slides. I can assure you, you won’t read. Can someone relate?

In today’s busy world, is it not just okay to take advantage of the opportunity and learn there and then and possibly make a few notes and use them as your WhatsApp or Facebook status rather than be asking for slides? You don’t have the time to read, you say you want slides just to make people feel you are serious. Me? I have never been that serious o….hahahahahaha! When I was in primary 4, I used to carry some discarded fat old chemistry book to make people know that, I sabi book, just for shegey reasons!

Send me those slides and I don’t even have data to download them. Weytin concern me with slides when the lecturer has taught me the things already at the seminar. After all, nobody is going to examine you on that, aloo?

It’s weekend again and this is the deciding weekend against next weekend when salaries will be paid. Expect greetings from some ‘Babis’ who only greet you after the third week of the month. ‘Oh just checking up on you; hope you are gud’. If I am not good, weytin concern you especially only when the month is about to end?

Don’t go to funeral this weekend o, Sassu. The possibility that you may not give enough donations is high. The other possibility is that you may be rushing to eat Jollof. The annoying thing is that those who do not give anything are those who would want to drink malt or fruit juice in addition to listening to music from the loudspeakers that play usually unnecessary gospel music for a start.

They are the same people who would be rushing for funeral brochures as if they are going to use it for something. What for? Ah! If you happen to be holding one funeral brochure and someone says ‘please can I glance through small?’, forget it; you won’t get it again.

Talk of the discarded university textbooks which I used to carry to school in primary 4 those days only reminds me of ‘City Express’! You remember? The sweet-scented smell from ‘Chikpi Express’ is still smelling in my nostrils with fresh nostalgia! From Achimota to Accra in the 1980s, it was such an experience and pleasant delight. We used to board Chikpi Express to go and buy camboo at Kantamanto.

The excitement that came with joining Chikpi especially, when the youth naturally gave way to the elderly to sit down was oooooh noooo…we enjoyed sweet things before oo. I vividly remember how we would stand in the bus and hold those strings tied to the roof of the bus…awwww. I loved this because it gave me the opportunity to do a tour of Nkrumah Circle, Caprice (pronounced ‘Car-price’ at the time) Alajo, Tesano Police Depo, and Achimota Overhead…finished.

Have a nice weekend and expect miracles from God soon. That is in case you are about giving up, think about the miracle of the coconut and how up till now, no scientist has really been able to tell how water enters it! God is God! Your miracle is on the way! Just believe! Amen!