Once upon a time in the not-so-distant past, the good people of Ghana woke up to find that their government had caught a severe case of mining license fever. Now, this wasn't your average, run-of-the-mill fever; this was a full-blown, license-issuing epidemic!

For decades, the Minerals Commission had been humming along, issuing licenses at a steady pace. Between 1988 and November 2022, they handed out a cozy 150 licenses. But then, something strange happened. Suddenly, from 2022 to the present, they've issued more than 1400 licenses! That's like going from a gentle stroll to a full-blown Usain Bolt sprint!

Now, you might think, "Well, isn't that just increased efficiency? Maybe they got some fancy new tech?" Ah, dear reader, if only it were that simple. No, this is where our tale takes a turn into the wild world of political pressure and questionable decision-making.

You see, in 2019, the Mines Ministry approved over 100 small-scale mining licenses and nearly 20 mining leases. But the Minerals Commission? They confirmed just 1 mining lease and 14 blocks for small-scale mining. Then, suddenly, in 2022, mining in forests became easier than finding a Waakye seller in Accra. Coincidence? Or clear political overriding of technical decision-making?

Now, why is this a problem, you ask? Well, imagine trying to cram a herd of elephants into a trotro. It's not going to end well, and neither is this mining license rampage. Why? Because the number of inspectors at the Minerals Commission and the Mining Department of the EPA hasn't increased enough to match this expansion.

It's like trying to use a single plantain chip to scoop a massive bowl of jollof – it's just not enough!

Last year, there were barely 38 qualified Minerals Commission inspectors for the whole country. That's right, 38! And get this, in 2017, the government sacked 9 District Mine Inspectors. Now, I'm no mathematician, but even I know that 38 - 9 = not enough inspectors.

Unsurprisingly, mining inspections dropped faster than a stone in a galamsey pit. In 2016, there were 138 inspections in Bibiani. In 2019, only 46 were conducted. For the whole country, only 383 inspections of surface mining operations took place that year. That's barely one inspection per day in the whole country!

Now, training a qualified mining inspector takes years. It's not like they can just wave a magic wand and – poof! – instant inspector. And let's not forget, reviewing new applications takes time and personnel too.

Ten years ago, there were about 220 personnel at the Minerals Commission. Today, that number is still less than 300. So, how, pray tell, is the agency managing an increase in workload of more than 10 times? Is this reasonable? Well, reason seems to have taken a holiday in this whole affair.

And the cherry on top of this hilarious disaster cake? Some of the Minerals Commission district offices look like they've been through a war – with the termites winning.

So there you have it, folks. The wild, wacky tale of Ghana's mining license rampage. It's a comedy of errors, a satire of political pressure, and a cautionary tale of what happens when policy implementation goes horribly, hilariously wrong.