Audio By Carbonatix
One time in the car coming back from yet another wedding, my partner, Keith and I started talking about what our own would be like. City Hall, we decided. A reception. Only Olympia beer. And pizza.
You know, just the kind of beautiful traditions that couples have been enjoying for centuries.
That was a few years ago. We're still not married and, quite honestly, may never be.
Keith and I have been together longer than most married couples we know; we passed our sixth anniversary earlier this year. And while we've talked about the relative merits of entering into a legal contract with one another, it's never been especially urgent.
We're not having children. Buying a house is laughably out of the realm of possibility. We aren't remotely religious. We like having separate finances. Neither of us has precarious citizenship or needs the protections that come with a marriage.
I know Keith loves me. I don't need to bring the local government into it.
Which leaves the question: what would the purpose of a marriage be for a couple like us, anyway?
I've had plenty of time to probe the subject of marriage. At 32, I've been to countless weddings. There was a period in my 20s when there was one nearly every weekend in the summer.
I've cried at most of them. I've joyously celebrated my friends and I've rolled my eyes at a handful of the more cringeworthy ones.
Nearly every time I open up Instagram, I scroll past another "announcement hand" — sometimes just the hand with the ring, sometimes the hand surreptitiously placed, and sometimes a truly ornate mating ritual that ends with two hands clasped to the face.
I totally understand why people want a wedding. In American culture, it's baked into us, especially as little girls. Barbie bridal gowns and movies that close with a chaste yet somehow passionate kiss are the script.
Whether we mean to or not, we teach kids that the most celebrated, most wonderful thing a woman can do is get married and have children.
Consider how little we celebrate other life achievements. No one dances to "celebrate" when a woman starts her own business. When a stay-at-home mom manages to get 10 minutes to herself, there's rarely a blowout with fancy invitations. Can I set up a registry when I pay off my student debt?
This isn't to say that marriage isn't important or that it doesn't serve a role, but when I asked myself the question about why I would want to get married, it was pretty clear that the driving factor was feeling pretty, getting loads of new and flattering photos, and receiving accolades from people I haven't heard from in years.
Weddings are, I've decided, like the sun. They're special to the people closest to the event, but the further away you get, the less you feel it. Eventually, all of the stars look kind of the same.
And it's with that perspective that I've come to the decision that I am agnostic about my nuptial future.
Keith and I may go down to the courthouse one of these days because we feel like it, but there will be no save the dates. There will be no lengthy vows or poems. There won't even be a "first kiss," because we've lived together for three years and that ship has sailed.
And it's not because we're cool or edgy; it's just because, once I waded through the tulle and tradition that had been sold to me since I was knee-high, it's sort of hard to get excited about a sweetheart neckline and watered-down alcohol when I already feel like I have a life partner.
But, I'll still come to your wedding. I'll celebrate your love, bring a gift, and, yes, probably cry. But, I'll also know that it's not for me and that's more than okay.
Latest Stories
-
National Children’s Day 2026: Child Online Africa calls for child-led digital protection in Ghana
3 minutes -
Manasseh sets the record straight on Northshore Apparel GH; dispels 1D1F claim
4 minutes -
Supreme Court dismisses injunction bid seeking to halt Skytrain trial
8 minutes -
AU Chairperson reaffirms commitment to global African unity
16 minutes -
Air Pollution in Accra is not random; it is a burden carried by the poor
23 minutes -
GEXIM Bank grows loan portfolio to GH¢1.56bn as equity hits GH¢2.1bn in 2025 – SIGA Report
41 minutes -
Ghana Shippers’ Authority grows surplus by 272% as assets reach GH¢979.92m
48 minutes -
Government designates 13 blocked-out areas for small-scale mining to curb illegal mining
49 minutes -
Number of advertised jobs increased significantly in half-year 2026 – BoG
50 minutes -
GAFM demands retraction from GTEC over ‘unrecognised universities’ listing
56 minutes -
Saltpond residents renew call for return of Founders’ Day celebrations
59 minutes -
Consumer spending records mixed performance in 5-months of 2026, but manufacturing activities improved – BoG
1 hour -
Passenger arrivals at airport increased by 3.7% in 5 months of 2026
1 hour -
NSMQ 2026: St. Augustine’s College reach third straight semifinal after seeing off Aburi Girls, St. John’s Grammar
1 hour -
Re: Mahama backs crackdown on airport workers begging visitors for tips
1 hour