Relationship advisors say relationships in recent times look more casual than committed.
They associate the development with the lack of understanding and commitment phobias individuals experience.
They therefore counsel that individuals need to set boundaries in casual relationships until they both decide to stay committed.
Mrs. Phoebe Gbesemete, a family counsellor in an interview on Joy Prime on Thursday explained that people are more individualistic and are scared to be vulnerable and intimate with other people.
She added that the fear of commitment in relationships might be sourced from one’s family background.
“Going back to the commitment phobia, it’s an increased anxiety towards the idea of being in a committed relationship and it can come from all sorts of sources, number one being that the person was probably from a background that relationships just didn’t work,” she stated.
Phoebe also indicated that, technology is one of the huge contributors to failing relationships. According to her, people are deceived by the false contents they see on social media and believe them to be true.
She added that, everything on social media is romanticised so people do not really see the real or ugly side of situations. “Everything is sensationalised, it’s not real. So if you’re using that as the basis of your future expectations you are sorely misguided,” she explained.
Phoebe encouraged that people should resort to post-marriage counselling when they are faced with challenges in their marriages.
A relationship advisor, Mr. Cheetam Bartels said individuals should stop comparing the present to the past because situations have changed. He also stated that successful relationships are built on knowledge.
“You can’t build any successful relationship without knowledge. The bottom line is knowledge,” he said.
According to him, individuals must understand that love is not a prerequisite for a successful relationship or marriage. “You can’t build your relationship on love, it will crash,” he added.
Mr. Bartels advised that individuals should put in maximum effort to work on their relationships.
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