“Kwame does not fit in,” a superior at the workplace might say of you or a friend.

How many times have you heard this refrain and what was the first thing that came to mind when you heard that? That Kwame is incompetent or struggling on the job right? Persons who use the refrain might be saying either you’re not good for the job or not fitting the company’s culture which means the same thing to me.

These days we want everybody to be either us or somebody else in the workplace. Anything short of this means the person “does not fit in.” This ambition of ours has driven us to naively ignore what makes those people who they truly are. We have failed to appreciate the unique attributes that distinguish one employee from the other. As a result, these people are tirelessly trying to do things our way to be accepted. They want to impress their bosses that the uncommon things they do that make them stand out in the crowd are missing.

In this piece, I will share with how to aim to be different from your colleagues and the reason you don’t have to be a common man or woman in deeds and words. Fact is nobody wants everybody to be the same at least not these days. To be successful is to be uncommon.

#1: Don’t trade your values, defend them

A true man or woman has values that make him or her uncommon. These days, people have chosen to cut corners to get what they want that they have failed to remember those means are not right. Though these people might enjoy success, it would not last long before they are exposed. An uncommon man or woman has integrity, humility, courage, and honesty in abundance. He or she does not use dubious means to get things. Your integrity is keeping your word. Honesty is what tells you that even though taking route A might be expedient it is not a noble thing to do and the courage is what gets you to do the right thing no matter the ramifications. I often tell my audience that what others say behind them is their reputation which has everything to do with their integrity. Shape what others should say behind you by standing up to your values.

#2: Don’t envy anybody in this life, help others grow

This should perhaps be the all-time number one rule to becoming an uncommon man or woman. You can’t aim to be uncommon and at the same time envy the common attributes of someone else. You either choose to be common and remain at where you are or aspire to be uncommon. Envy is the preserve of losers. It has a way of making them feel inadequate about themselves and of the life they live. You have great potentials so rare to be found in anyone else apart from you. There cannot be anybody like you and if you are convinced of your unique identity and place in the world why hate another person? What you need to do is help others achieve their goals. Give them a shoulder to stand on when they haven’t got one. It takes an uncommon man or woman to help others see farther in life. Take special interest in others. Remember: whatever you know was entrusted to your care because you’re a good keeper and that through you someone else would benefit. Eliminate the feeling of envy and its other forms from your life and you will experience indescribable happiness.

#3: Don’t Complain, stay positive

Life is not a sugar coated corn that you enjoy all the time. Even though you might have things easy, they are not bound to remain that forever. The reality is that stuff happens in this world. You might lose your work, a relative might die, your best friend might be killed in a car accident and you might lose your money to a swindler. Do not feel dejected when some of these things happen. Don’t complain or give up trying because the penny dropped in your life. What matters is what you do when these things happen. The people of Israel whined when God through Moses was navigating them from the land of Egypt to the Promised Land. Their complaint grew worse that they compared Egypt to the new land – an action that led to their woes. This infuriated God who punished them for their ungratefulness. What does this tell us about people whose stock of trade is complaining? They will not get far. An uncommon man or woman is a go-getter. He or she does not complain but acts. He is solution-oriented individual and not problem-oriented.

Many of us are trying to fit into the circles of our colleagues that it is driving us nut. Truth is you don’t have to be like everybody. Ever considered why you were employed in the first place? Your unique personality made you a suitable choice so why try to be someone else?