The Wellness Coach, Ariel says it is wrong for people to think they can change their partners after marriage because it never happens.

According to her, people overlook the flaws of their partners and refuse to address them during dating hoping that their partners will eventually change when they tie the knot.

But the reality is that, one cannot really change their partner, rather they can only change themselves to blend with their partners to protect their well-being and make the situation look invisible.

“What we say to ourselves when we’re in a relationship is, ‘I love him so much and when I marry him, he will change or I will change him’, that is the perception we have that we can change people and it’s a wrong premise to start marriage with.”

“What I have seen that has helped a lot of people is how to actually change themselves to that same situation for it not affect their well-being and it’s possible.”

“So, it is not about changing the person when you marry, it’s about changing yourself when you marry the person because you see it during dating but you think it’s nothing and 'when we get married he will change,” she explained.

Speaking on Joy Prime’s Prime Morning, Ariel said people go into these unfortunate situations because they do not hold their values and principles up high, and so they easily reduce their values just to fit in with someone and assume there has been a change.

“These are some of the things we do because we haven’t owned our individuality, so we start reducing our values just to adapt to the situation knowing clearly that they cannot live with the person’s attitude.”

“So, if you know you can’t live with this for the rest of your life, then don’t accept it because telling yourself that he will change when I marry him it’s a lie we tell ourselves," she indicated.

The Wellness Coach indicated that, nobody can change the other until there is a personal will to change. The person should personally analyze and assess themselves to decide to change to serve the version of how they want to become.

Therefore, if the person does not willingly come to that realization on their own, anyone that forces them to change or points out their flaws before them becomes their enemy.

“Because change is very personal and an individual thing, until you see yourself and accept yourself, go through certain thought process, introspection, reflection and self-awareness to come to that decision that I am changing because it doesn’t serve my highest good or it doesn’t serve the version of myself I want to become, anybody who tries to push you see to it becomes your problem, becomes somebody who doesn’t like you or is worrying you, so change is a very personal and individual journey that we all have to go through,”

“So to say you’ll change someone, actually you end up forgetting to work on yourself,” Ariel said.