I ain’t here to preach. I’m here to speak to my younger self and my future children. If you gain something from this too — bonus. My 14 rules for a good life are based on years of struggle and seeing others fall into pits.

If you want to live the good life, say hello to these 14 new rules:

1. If you’re anxious, slow down; if you’re depressed, speed up

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Anxiety means we’re doing too much and overthinking. Slowing down consciously helps with this. According to research from the University of Cambridge, meditation can also help ease the stress caused by anxiety. Being depressed is often remedied by leaning into action and getting busy, even if we initially feel sluggish.

2. Never make big decisions when you’re emotional

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Take your time with these and give the decision as much time as possible. If you’re not sure — avoid it. But if you’re scared, and you know it’s right in your gut, then act.

3. If you’re self-conscious, focus on others

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Self-consciousness has brought me little but misery. When I feel anxious, it’s time to focus on making someone else smile. This takes the pressure off and instantly makes me feel better.

4. Make the first move

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Stop waiting for permission to create something cool. Start a conversation with a stranger. Jump first. Lean in first and make it a habit. Now you’re the leader, and you set e precedent for creating success that others will admire and follow.

5. Walk tall

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Posture has been proven by research to directly affect our chemical composition, among other benefits. Walk a fraction taller with a skip in your step. Your self-image will improve by doing this alone.

6. Always put your best foot forward

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The little things regarding your appearance make a huge difference in how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you. Clean your dirty shoes. Iron your shirt. It will affect your confidence in a good way.

7. Refuse to whine and moan

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Sometimes it’s cathartic to complain to a friend. But don’t make it a habit. Whining reaffirms a negative reality. Focusing on what’s good brings more good in.

8. Do what most others refuse to do

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What interests you, and how can you set yourself apart in this area by doing what others do not have the patience or stomach for? Write a list. That’s how you separate yourself from the pack.

9. Create, then create some more

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The antidote to most of life’s woes is to enter into the spirit of creativity. It’s what we’ve evolved to do. Instead of reacting and allowing a dark slump to take over your mind, make something cool.

10. Never argue just for the sake of it

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Arguments are just opportunities for insecure people to snatch at validation. It’s a waste of time and a race to the bottom. Smile and move on. Your relaxed demeanor will inspire people.

11. Make a habit of asking

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Many people fall short of their dreams and potential because they don’t want to rock the boat. They don’t ask for help and they don’t ask people for things. You can have anything you want if you’re willing to ask enough people for it.

12. Write and share something every day

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You don’t need to be Stephen King to be a daily writer. Journal your thoughts. Brainstorm ideas. Share your stories. Build a following with your advice. There’s little downside and massive upside to daily writing. According to research from Pennsylvania State University, journaling has a variety of benefits, including reducing mental distress and increasing well-being.

n The Average Person, According To Psychology

13. Smile when you don’t feel like it

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Be light-hearted and lift the mood. This will make you more creative and open to new ideas and connections. Do it for them, and do it for you.

14. Don’t buy into thoughts that make you feel worse

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We feel our thoughts. If our thinking makes us doubtful and fearful, those thoughts are not serving us. We don’t need to be at the mercy of a thought. Let it float past and redirect to taking action instead.