Sometimes, I can be very pedantic. I get fussy over things not being done the right way. I have a huge collection of over 5000 movie DVDs. They are all organised in alphabetical order by title, and cross-referenced by director, headline actor and year of release.
I used to get rather upset when someone took a DVD from my collection and did not replace it in the exact spot they took it from. Whenever that happened and I started to rant about it, my ex would say to me, "Calm down. Imagine it was a stranger who had done this". This always worked, because she was right. I wouldn't typically show my annoyance to a stranger.
I grew up on the same university campus where my parents worked all their adult lives. Very often, I would bump into students my parents had taught, and whenever I mentioned my surname, they would all say variations of the same thing:
"Wow, your father is such a great lecturer"
"Wow, I remember everything your mother taught me"
"It must be so much fun living in the same house with her"
"If I had a dad like yours, learning would be so easy for me"
"You're so lucky".
Very often, I would look at them like they were crazy. My parents weren't like that! As far as I was concerned, they were hard-nosed disciplinarians who never let me do anything fun and always made me regret every bad choice I ever made.
Whatever wit, compassion, patience and understanding these people were attributing to my parents, well none of it had yet been seen in our house.
Much like how we wear our best clothes when we're going out, and walk around in a torn t-shirt at home, it seemed my parents turned on their charm for outsiders and saved the gritty reality for their kids and family members.
The thing is many of us tend to show our best face to the outside world, and our worst habits to those we care about, but should it not be the other way around? Is it not those we love who should benefit from everything good about us? Why do we find it easier to offer a smile to someone we just met on the street, than to the one we see every morning at home?
If you ask me, we've got it all backwards. Today, let's start a trend to right this wrong, and start paying back those we love, for the years they've had to live with our cranky, moody, testy, snappy, impatient, foul-mouthed, bad-tempered cynicism.
Give your wife a hug. Tell your kids a joke. Hold your sister’s hand while you walk down the street. Tell your son how clever he is. Tell your daughter she's gorgeous. Whenever you feel like yelling, "What’s wrong with you", say "I love you" instead. Treat your family a little more like strangers - heck, treat them better than you treat strangers. They will appreciate it, and they certainly deserve it.
My name is Kojo Yankson and the truest expression of love is not just how we feel, but how we behave toward each other.
GOOD MORNING, GHANAFO!
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