New relationships are fun, exciting, and turn your tummy into those mushy, so-disgusting-kind-of-cute butterfly knots.
And for those entering new relationships, it can be easy to want to spend all of your time with this new person who’s giving you a major glow.
But before you start ditching your Sunday yoga sessions with your girls to sweat with your new boo instead, consider this: You really should only be seeing someone you're newly dating once a week.
“People often dive right into a relationship and begin to lose themselves early on,” says Jennifer Silvershein, LCSW, founder of Manhattan Wellness, a service that specialises in dating and relationship advice for millennial women.
You quickly start ditching plans you'd made for yourself and with others before you met this person in order to spend time with them. And when that happens, it's likely you'll fall into dicksand—the dreaded force that sucks you into becoming so preoccupied with the new person you’re dating, you ditch your friends and fam entirely.
Dicksand is as strong as it is sneaky. You get caught up in the rom-com energy of your own budding love story, and next thing you know, you’ve been sucked into relationship isolation, your friends have no idea where you are, and you have no action plan for how to get out of this phase.
Mikaila M., 24, only grasped how deeply she’d plunged when she decided to skip her friend’s birthday party to hang with a new match. She didn't realize until later just how upset her friend really was.
That's why, when you’re first integrating someone into your life, you want to keep your routine as normal as possible.
Otherwise, not only are you jeopardizing your existing relationships, you're also not giving yourself the proper amount of time to manifest a relationship naturally. And a rush of lovey-dovey endorphins could be making you miss major red flags (read: it is a big deal that his ex-girlfriend still thinks they're in a relationship).
The good news? Your new "one date a week" rule can totally prevent all these problems.
Take it from Michelle T., 24, who has vowed by this rule and is now in a two-year relationship. “I was caught in a cycle of losing my friends, family, and self whenever I entered a new relationship, so when I heard about this rule, I had to try it,” she says.
“It’s hard when you're forcing yourself to not hang out with the only person you can focus on, but it's helped me so much in thinking more clearly and picking up on things I didn’t like about them.”
Here are some of the other benefits
You can potentially avoid a painful heartbreak.
“If you’re able to keep the get-togethers to once a week, the intensity of something not working out will be lessened,” says Silvershein. Instead of moping about five dates you went on with this person last week, you’ll only be moping about one.
It could intensify the curiosity.
Not saying you have to play hard to get, but seeing each other once a week will leave your partner wanting more every time. You’ll have so much to talk about, so much to catch up on, the spark will be *lit* every time you see each other.
You won’t become a bad friend.
You won’t have to opt out of 'Wine down Wednesdays' with your coworkers, and you can still find time to hang with your new lover. It’s a win-win for all involved.
It will give you time to reflect.
It's easy to get swept away by a moment that wasn’t actually all that romantic. By limiting yourself to once-a-week dates with potential bae, you have time to thoroughly reflect on the date and evaluate if those were actual sparks you felt.
So, with that said, when will you know you and your partner are ready to progress beyond once a week hangs?
“When you get more comfortable into a relationship or habits are beginning to form over time, that’s the natural progression,” says Silvershein. In other words, when you finally know that this is the one for you and it's not affecting you or your other relationships, you're in the clear.
The above-all lesson: The new person in your life should be a part of your life, not your entire one.
- I was slapped, kicked in the groin by National Security officials – Citi FM’s Caleb Kudah recounts ordeal
- Citi FM journalist broke GJA Code of Ethics by filming at National Security premises – Affail Monney
- Eight home-based players included in Ghana’s squad to face Morocco and Ivory Coast
- Social media users react to DSP Azugu’s alleged role in assault on Citi FM journalist
- Citi FM journalist committed no crime in filming at National Security premises – Samson Anyenini
- #FixTheCountry: Be measured in your expectations of Akufo-Addo due to Covid-19 – Chief of Staff
- I won’t hesitate to sanction Chiefs engaging in ‘galamsey’ – Asantehene
- Manner of Citi FM journalist’s arrest worrying – Sulemana Braimah
- Akufo-Addo and his NPP government are reducing Ghana to a police state – Haruna Iddrisu
- Social media users react to arrest of Citi FM’s Caleb Kudah
Disregard purported increase in transport fares – Road Transport Operators
USDA–GPP, ADB, others partner Agrihouse for 3rd LiPF tradeshow
Judge rules Meghan Markle’s legal costs to be paid by U.K. tabloid after she wins lawsuit
Coronavirus: New variants are causing growing concern in Africa
Government to engage transaction advisors on AirtelTigo revitalization
Champions League final moved to Porto and 12,000 Chelsea and Manchester City fans can attend
Suspension of Herbert Mensah ‘illegal’ – GRFU
Francis Xavier-Sosu: Eid-ul-Fitr reflections – Human rights and security implications, the case of Wesley Girls’ and the Methodist Church
Heavy downpour renders Damongo residents homeless
Oppression of journalists, citizens by Akufo-Addo government must stop – Sammy Gyamfi
I want a functional commercial wing – Dr. Kwaku Afriyie charges CSIR
ASEPA calls for the removal of GJA President, Affail Monney
Eid-ul-Fitr: Remain disciplined, obey Covid-19 protocols, give to the needy – National Chief Imam urges Muslims
Western North Regional Minister launches “One-Child One-Desk” Initiative
GSE records impressive growth of 15.73% in April 2021; market cap. hits GH¢60.8bn