Ever told a little fib about your sex life? Perhaps, during a game of Never Have I Ever, you were ashamed of having done something particularly kinky.
Maybe you pretended someone was the best you’d ever had when, well, they weren’t. Some lies are harmless, others, not so much.
But if you have been less than honest about your sexual activities, you’re not alone (although that doesn’t mean you’re morally safe and sound).
Illicit Encounters surveyed 2,000 men and women to find out the most common sex-related things they lie about. As you might expect, there are differences between the genders.
Women’s most popular sexy lie is the reduce the number of people they have slept with, while men’s most popular is to deny ever cheating on a partner.
Other common sex lies for women include faking orgasms and saying ‘I love you’ when they didn’t mean it, while men like to deny watching porn.
Out of those surveyed, 44% of men said they had hidden previous infidelity because they were worried it would put off a new partner, while more than half of women (52%) said they had cut the real figure of their past sexual partners.
Illicit Encounters spokesman Christian Grant said: ‘Both sexes like to tell sex lies but it is interesting to discover just how different those lies are.
‘While women are keener to downplay their number of previous partners, men are more likely to inflate their total. ‘Men are most keen to lie about their previous infidelity – probably rightly deducing that this will be a big turn-off to new partners.
‘Women also lie about cheating but not quite as much as men. This doesn’t mean that they are being more faithful.’ There are some lessons to be learned from these stats and lists.
First off, this suggests the shame around women having multiple sexual partners is still alive and kicking, while men continue to be praised for having sex with more women.
But also, a lot of us aren’t comfortable with the reality of our sex lives, and would rather keep our partners in the dark than reveal the truth.
That seems worrying – shouldn’t we all own our choices and our history without an ounce of embarrassment? Why are we lying to protect people’s egos, buy into gender stereotypes, or erase our poor behaviour? We say it a lot, but honest communication really is key.
If you’re not satisfied in bed, speak up and work together to get pleasure. If you’ve cheated previously, work to understand why so you can assure your next partner it won’t happen again.
And, please, let’s stop pretending we don’t masturbate, watch porn, or fantasise about other people. These are all perfectly normal behaviours and by staying silent, we make people feel weird and alone for partaking.