A man has divided opinion online after asking whether it was fair of him to expect his girlfriend to buy condoms, considering they were costing him ‘a fortune’.
Taking to Reddit, he explained that there was a recent sale on condoms and he suggested to his girlfriend that it was her turn to buy some, as she isn’t on the pill, and won’t take other forms of contraception due to their hormonal effects.
He said: ‘I began thinking that over a few years I could end up spending quite a lot buying condoms and I think it’s fair that she should chip in now and then.’
His girlfriend said it was his responsibility to buy condoms, and wouldn’t want to because of the embarrassment of taking condoms up to the till.
She added that her buying razors is the ‘female equivalent’ of condoms as she uses them before sex.
He continued: ‘I argued that she would shave regardless if we were together – going to the gym, going out etc.’ ‘I appreciate you can get free condoms but personally I get little enjoyment out of those as the quality sucks and my gf even notices.’
Since the the story was posted, people have been divided over who was in the right. Some people say it is the boyfriend’s responsibility. One person wrote: ‘You should just suck it up and pay for them. It’s already expensive enough being a woman.
Everything marketed for women, from tampons to clothing to salon services are expensive. Dudes get off easy. Buying your own condoms is a cheap expense for a high reward/value.’
Someone said the girlfriend should start paying, writing: ‘My boyfriend and I only use condoms as well and we take turns in buying them.
Never has it ever crossed my mind that I couldn’t buy them for some sort of stigma. Wtf is that even supposed to mean?’ It’s clear that some people aren’t sure who’s responsibility it is to buy condoms.
So let’s discuss it. When you are using condoms to have sex, you are taking shared responsibility to protect yourself against both unwanted pregnancy and STDs.
It is up to both of you to ensure you are protected, and so both partners should contribute towards any cost. This includes contraceptive pills, if they are not free on the NHS.
Condoms can add up – especially if you like the fancier versions – and it seems only fair that you both chip in given you are both having consensual, enjoyable sex.
There’s a simple solution to someone refusing to step up and contribute to contraception: if they won’t provide contraception, they don’t get to have sex. Easy. If the money really is an issue, there are free condoms from NHS sexual health clinics available.
As always, the best shout is open communication, with both partners discussing contraception and finding a solution that makes them happy.
Who wants to have sex when there’s lingering tension over someone not taking their turn to pick up a pack? If you feel embarrassed about buying condoms, you’re not alone.
But it’s important we all take steps to get away from that shame. Adults have sex. Condoms help prevent the spread of STDs and pregnancy.
Buying condoms is a normal, responsible thing to do and you should be proud of yourself for buying them, never ashamed.
Remember that anyone working the tills has seen hundreds of people buying condoms – it’s not a rarity and genuinely, they won’t bat an eyelid.