Internal Memo: Of Marriages and Partnerships

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Internal Memo

To: All Women and the Men Who Appreciate Them

From: A Somewhat Troublesome Woman

CC: My Partner & #1 Fan

Subject: Of Marriages and Partnerships

Reference the book of Genesis chapter 2 verse 18, I am by this memo requesting a hearing on some bugging questions and thoughts I have had for a while with regards to the subject of marriage and the kind of partnership it is supposed to be.

You see, by all intents and purposes marriage is supposed to be a union between two people, a joining of their lives and many other things pertaining to their lives. People go into marriage with the mind of sharing; their lives; their joys; their challenges; their fears; their success; and of course their property...

In comparative terms, marriages are supposed to be like partnerships or mergers and not hostile takeovers and acquisitions. In the former, there is a union of equals whereas in the latter, one ceases to exist and the other decides what to do with the bought entity. Enough of the analogies.

So in my opinion, marriage is supposed to be a partnership, one in which there is shared ownership and responsibility for the success of the whole.

Okay, that being said, my first question is “why do we still have fixed gender roles within our marriages?” Don’t get me wrong, I know there are some things that a woman can do that a man can’t and vice versa, and that is not what I’m puzzled about. The thing that puzzle’s me is the rules that say the woman cooks, and the man does…eeeh…the dishes…oh no, eats the food??? Or that the husband works and brings the money and the woman…spends the dough? Or that the bathing, feeding, dressing, and general upkeep of children is the responsibility of the woman. If we are responsible for the success of the marriage, then shouldn’t the work involved be a shared responsibility?

My second question is “why do couples not look at the growth of the family and share new responsibilities appropriately?" Comparatively, when a partnership in business starts, there might be defined roles based on the strength of the partners and their areas of expertise, but as the business grows and new situations emerge, partners will usually take on extra roles and be fair in the sharing of those roles to make sure one partner is not inundated with work. Why can’t our marriage partnerships be the same? In my estimation, children spell a growth in the family and are a huge responsibility but very often the task of care for them falls mostly on women.

My last question (for now) is “what is the contribution of women in the decision making process”. There are quite a number of women who have become assistants and subordinates to their husband in this partnership. They only carry out the decisions of their husbands and assist them take care of the home. And please don’t refer me to my reference quote, Genesis 2:18.

I believe that is one of the most misinterpreted quotes in the Bible. You see, the misinterpretation is the fact that “help meet” is assumed to mean an assistant, or someone who is subordinate to you. True. There is support implied in that passage, but the Hebrew interpretation of that word ‘help’ is ‘ezer’ meaning “strong aid that is desperately required” whiles the Hebrew interpretation of the word ‘meet’ is “kenedgo,” which literally means “facing him,” or “as in front of him.” The idea is that the woman is a help (strong aid) that faces the man. Once again, a partnership of equals is strongly implied.

I’m not sure that doing dishes, making food or keeping the house clean is so impossible that the man needed God to bring him a woman for that purpose. Yes, women would mostly love to do these things as well, but there is a certain help that a man can’t find in any other man that only a woman can give if only they could consider their wives as partners and not assistants? Think about it.

I still need answers to my questions!

Thank you.

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