My wedding was one of the best and most beautiful days of my life. Thinking about it still gives me goose bumps, for all the right reasons. It was well planned and organised. We had such a great atmosphere of genuine love and support from family, friends and colleagues. No detail was left unattended to.

Till today, my husband and I still have people commending us for pulling things off so spectacularly.  It took great effort, time, dedication, making compromises and the willingness to hear each other out respectfully when we had different opinions on how to proceed and above all, the God factor. It was Team Work from start to finish.

Now I know many of you will be tying the knot between now and beyond, and so it is my wish that your walk down the aisle will be just as beautiful and your wedding day, most memorable. 

I have been more involved in the detailed planning of a lot more weddings after mine and it’s gotten me thinking about the lessons I’ve observed from weddings we can emulate in our marriages.

1. Invest in your marriage – like you did the wedding, when you invested your time, resources, and efforts in ensuring your day was perfect for you both. Marriage is like a beautiful plant. You’ve got to nurture, prune, water and create the right environment around it in order for it to blossom beautifully. That requires a lot of work and commitment or like a flower left unattended to, it will wither. So invest in quality time with each other; make time to do things and have fun together.

Buy books, watch videos, attend marriage seminars that encourage responsible marriage relationships. Don’t hesitate to give each other sweet surprises and treats. Invest in keeping the romantic flames and passions burning long after the wedding night and honeymoon.  

Also remember to save money, like you did towards the wedding. And save well for all your future activities and eventualities. Financial disagreements can cause many problems in marriage so be open with each other about your finances and work as a team.

2. Good communication – good communication without any ambiguity is key to the success of any wedding. Miscommunication with your vendors and all the people playing a role on your wedding day can result in confusion on the day. It is the reason we make the effort to be on the same page with everyone involved in our wedding planning so we don’t make a mess of the day. Likewise marriage, where the lack of, or poor communication can be costly. It can unmake the union.

Always remember that your spouse isn’t a Psychic so don’t expect them to know what is on your mind always, without you speaking up. Talk to each other freely, fairly. And in addressing any conflict in marriage, ensure you both are listening well to what the other is saying, don’t be quick to judge, learn to give and receive constructive feedback. Good communication makes a healthy and peaceful relationship.

3. Expect the unexpected – Things can go spectacularly wrong on the wedding day. I’ve heard stories of wedding officiants, caterers, makeup artistes showing up late or not at all.

So have I been told tales of the bride or groom’s dress getting damaged, someone dropping the wedding cake, the lights going off at the venue...etc. In spite of these setbacks, couples are still able to find a way to make the wedding day memorable. That’s a good attitude to emulate in your marriage.

Life is never smooth sailing. There will be many ups and downs; miscarriage, infertility, death, infidelity, illness, job losses, failures, broken dreams, closed doors. Be ready to lean on each other and develop a plan to stay committed and ride out life’s tough moments. It will only make your marriage stronger.

4. Be ready to bring in the experts –Wedding planners, photographers, décor designers, are but some of the experts we hire while planning our wedding. This is because we know that no matter our budget, they have what it takes to make our day successful and memorable. When the tough times come in marriage and both of you no longer are making any progress in dealing with it alone, consult a third party who can listen objectively and help you both to look for the middle ground. The only caution is that, you have to be careful the third parties you introduce into your marriage as some can make matters worse. Always  look out for the tried and trusted sources.

5. Always look out for each other – You remember how you fed each other bits of food and drink on the wedding day, or how as Groom, you held on so protectively to your bride to keep her from tripping over her dress and embarrassing herself, or worse, getting hurt? Do continue to be each other’s keeper. Be each other’s No.1 fan. Do not disrespect your spouse in private and NOT EVER in public.

Most importantly, let God be the glue that holds you both together. Marriage is a lot of work and can be full of uncertainties. With God on your side, you won’t fail.

May you have a happily ever after!