Audio By Carbonatix
It happens to all of us. A relationship ends in heartbreak and the world stops and kicks us off. Or so it feels. The low self-esteem after a breakup only serves to prolong the agony. How long does the bottom-dwelling last? Can you still figure out how to survive a breakup when you're feeling this lousy about yourself? Isn’t it bad enough that the one you loved doesn’t love you anymore — do you have to not love you, too?
Certain feelings go with the territory of a broken heart — confusion, anger, and sadness. But, if your low self-confidence is causing you to constantly blame and disparage yourself, getting over a breakup gets even more difficult and your healing will be slow. If your self-worth perked up when you started dating your ex but plummeted after your split, it’s probably dependent on being in a relationship. When you're heartbroken, you feel worthless, which leads you to hang onto what is no longer available and/or healthy. Ironically, gauging how long your low self-esteem after a break-up will last depends, to a certain degree, on your self-esteem.
If all you do is self-criticize, you won’t be able to process what happened in the relationship. And if you can’t process this one, you can’t prepare for the next one. That’s the vicious cycle of low self-esteem that keeps you stuck. The loss of self-esteem is the most disruptive aspect of a breakup because it prevents you from moving forward. You need an inherent sense of worth to invest the energy in your healing and future.
If you had healthy self-esteem at the beginning of your relationship, wouldn’t it stand to reason that it should still be there after a breakup? A ding to your self-esteem is understandable. But if your low self-esteem after a breakup leads you to stalk your ex or pray for a reconciliation, that ding is a big dent. There are a lot of theories about how long it should take to heal from a breakup. Some say half the length of the relationship (woe to those together for decades!). Some say as little as a month.
RELATED: Do These 8 Things After A Breakup To Heal Your Broken Heart ASAP
The truth is the uniqueness of the individuals and their relationships can’t be overlooked or generalized. However, a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that 71 percent of 155 young adults took around 11 weeks to see positive change. By the end of those three months, the subjects could see the positive aspects of their breakups. They also felt they had grown and become goal-oriented — all positive changes to their low self-esteem after a breakup.
Other influences on the healing of your low self-esteem after a breakup include factors like race, gender, and preference. According to another study, women, African Americans, and heterosexuals have more positive outcomes. However, the biggest predictor of positive outcomes was the person who initiated the breakup.
Finally, when it comes to giving the best advantage to your low self-esteem after a breakup, social media plays a role. Those with a higher frequency of internet surveillance also have a higher level of post-breakup distress. Accidentally "bumping into" your ex on Facebook will only serve to set back the clock on your healing time. It’s reasonable to expect that the recovery of your low self-esteem after a breakup can take at least a few weeks. But the factors affecting that timeline depend on you and the relationship that just ended. And, once you figure it out, building confidence is not as impossible anymore.
Latest Stories
-
Alleged coup plotter Bright Alan Debrah Ofosu granted GH₵2.5m bail pending Accra High Court appeal
37 seconds -
Kofi Kapito calls on Ghanaians to prioritise national interest over partisan politics
3 minutes -
Daily Insight for CEOs: The CEO’s role in leading digital transformation
6 minutes -
Dodome chiefs appeal to government for TVET school to boost skills training
8 minutes -
Ghanaian PhD students in UK struggle as stipends and fees remain unpaid
11 minutes -
Ghana Society of Radiographers pushes for major curriculum reform to strengthen healthcare workforce
12 minutes -
Religious freedoms in Nigeria and Sudan must be non-negotiable
15 minutes -
WAFU B U20 Girls’ Cup: Black Princesses record 2-0 win over Benin in third game
31 minutes -
NPP raises constitutional concerns over Justice Baffoe-Bonnie’s nomination as Chief Justice
34 minutes -
Afenyo-Markin and Ayariga clash again during Chief Justice nominee vetting
44 minutes -
Dr Manaseh Mawufemor Mintah writes: When the Net Catches Everything
49 minutes -
GPL 2025/26: Penalty awarded to Kotoko ‘was so easy’ – Hearts boss Didi
55 minutes -
Economic stability is real but still young – Dr Johnson Asiama
59 minutes -
RCEE Unleashes “Atiaa”: A captivating blend of rhythm, energy, and emotion
1 hour -
Binatone launches “power station” to deliver reliable, portable energy in Africa
1 hour
